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pseudowho · 11 months ago

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Post-ShibuyaAU! Grey Nanami Kento...

🎄Christmas Headcanons

(help me find the Nanami artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)

As an accompaniment to my story, Grey (link here); an AU where Nanami survives Shibuya exploration because I'm never going to be over his loss.

Merry Christmas, from Haitch, @silkspunweb and Greynami

Part 1 of Greynami Headcanons, link here

Part 2 of Greynami Headcanons, link here

Warnings: Severe injury (burns, eye loss), PTSD, alcohol use, depression, light smut, angst, AU headcanons

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Before he met you:

AU!Nanami Kento who is barely holding himself together on the first Christmas after the Shibuya Incident, healed but not.

AU!Nanami Kento who spends most of his December evenings drinking himself to sleep, in a sleepy haze on the sofa while Christmas specials run quietly in the background.

AU!Nanami Kento who starts hunting Curses of his own jurisdiction, losing track of the days as he sweeps from case to case, kill to kill, nobody's servant.

AU!Nanami Kento who finds a family home and all of its corpses while he's on the hunt for a Curse; stepping over the bloodied threshold, shoes crunching on stained broken glass, he only realises it's Christmas Eve by the stockings hung out and the little broken bodies of their owners beneath them.

AU!Nanami Kento who cries himself to sleep.

AU!Nanami Kento who works through Christmas despite being ill, trying to numb his fear and loneliness, isolated but unable to ask for help.

AU!Nanami Kento who ends up in Shoko's care again; not taking care of himself, not sleeping, and not eating, so a cold grows into an infection and he welcomes in the New Year in a feverish daze in a Jujutsu High hospital bed.

AU!Nanami Kento who declines all visitors, the curtains pulled round his bed.

AU!Itadori Yuuji, Ino Takuma and Gojo Satoru, who leave Kento's gifts by the door for Shoko to collect.

After he meets you:

AU!Nanami Kento who would have planned to keep his head down and keep working, ignoring the Christmas lights and music...if not for you, so excited as the holiday approaches, making his heart swell.

AU!Nanami Kento who grasps your joy with both hands, clinging desperately to the hope for a happier life.

AU!Nanami Kento who lets you know he's ready to partake, by quietly sending his Christmas playlist to you. You never mention it, but begin a silent exchange of each adding new songs to the playlist. Kento hears you giggling in the kitchen as he adds a new one while brushing his teeth.

AU!Nanami Kento who looks at Jujutsu High, and all of its orphaned, abandoned or lonely children.

AU!Nanami Kento who kisses you back into the sofa cushions when you give him an unequivocal yes to his cautious Christmas Day Grand Plan proposal, with you, laughing and squeaking as he nuzzles with glee into your pyjama collar.

AU!Jujutsu High Staff and Kids, who begin to receive lovingly handwritten Christmas Day invitations from Kento and you.

AU!Nanami Kento who brushes off any offers of compensation from those who accept his invitation- and everybody accepts. Just bring yourself, he insists.

AU!Nanami Kento who doesn't take a mission for weeks; he's far too busy making lists, ensuring everyone attending has gifts to open, making recipe and aesthetic Pinterest boards and sharing them with you. Your evenings are spent toe-to-toe on the sofa, feet affectionately rubbing against each other's, discussing recipes and decorations.

AU!Nanami Kento whose love for you only grows when you throw yourself wholeheartedly into making preparations with him. You take up crochet; Kento becomes a plant dad, keen for his home to look more homely.

AU!Nanami Kento who sets his alarm early on Christmas morning, only to find you've beaten him to it and are already in the kitchen. He can't resist sneaking up on you, and you shriek in a puff of flour when he picks you up from behind, spinning you and popping you up onto the counter, scarred face blowing raspberries into your chest as you hit at him with a wooden spoon.

AU!Nanami Kento who starts the Christmas playlist, spinning you round the living room for just one song; there's just so much to do.

AU!Nanami Kento who bakes the gingerbread and pastries while you prepare the dinner, flicking flour and potato peelings at each other as you sing along (badly) to Christmas music.

AU!Nanami Kento who has a momentary pang of anxiety about his scars and eye patch, before you hand him the ugliest Christmas jumper he's ever seen in his life. He looks at you in disgust, but his face breaks into a smile as you step out in your matching jumper.

AU!Nanami Kento who struggles weakly as you pin him against the wall, pulling his cardigan off him and replacing it with the jumper. He struggles a little harder when you replace his eyepatch with a Christmassy one.

AU!Nanami Kento who can barely reach the Christmas tree light switch, for all the presents stacked around it.

AU!Nanami Kento who is overjoyed when people begin pouring through the door, shedding coats and scarves, bearing gifts of food, drinks, and board games, with Inumaki bringing his whole carefully packed games console.

AU!Nanami Kento whose home is suddenly, overwhelmingly full of love, laughter and merriment, watching you ensure everyone has drinks and snacks while he finishes dinner. Being in the kitchen makes it easier to hide that he's tearing up a bit.

AU!Nanami Kento whose dining table ends up too small to hold all of the people, so it holds the food instead, and the people find perches on chairs, the floor, footstools, in a giant Christmas picnic.

AU!Nanami Kento who is too full-up to move...but never too full to thrash Inumaki and Yuuji at Mario Kart.

AU!Nanami Kento who gives Maki some more burn ointment and a short one-armed squeeze, while she and Yuuta warm up the mulled wine in the kitchen.

AU!Nanami Kento who is just so bad at charades.

AU!Nanami Kento who almost weeps with laughter watching you, Nobara and Megumi play Twister after too much to drink.

AU!Nanami Kento who has left mistletoe above an unreasonable amount of doorways, starting a drunken cheek-kissing competition between the party attendees. Takuma Ino is winning, ambushing all passers-by in the bathroom doorway, male or female.

AU!Nanami Kento who was, of course, happy for Yoshino Junpei to bring his mother too; she spends the evening smoking and laughing by a garden firepit with Shoko, while Junpei, Yuuji and the others begin an irresponsible arm wrestling competition.

AU!Maki who wipes the floor with everyone.

AU!Nanami Kento who spirits you away to a dark, quiet nook, peeking round the corner before pulling the cupboard door closed, kissing you deeply and sinking his fingers into your hair to the distant sounds of revelry, which might as well be a hundred miles away.

AU!Nanami Kento who, to his surprise, welcomes Satoru as a late attendee. There is a quiet exchange at the door, before Kento allows Satoru to pull him in for a hug. Just one. It's Christmas after all.

AU!Nanami Kento who must accept many more hugs before the night is over, everyone overjoyed by their gifts.

AU!Nanami Kento who chokes up a little bit when he opens his first present from you; a tie, identical to his leopard print one lost at Shibuya. Found it on eBay, you insist as he pulls it on over his Christmas jumper to applause.

AU!Nanami Kento who waves everyone home with you, snuggled beside him under one arm, until the house is finally quiet and still, the love still remaining in every nook, every cobweb, every scrap of wrapping paper.

AU!Nanami Kento who curls up on the sofa with you, warm and whole under a blanket, until the kisses get deeper and hands start wandering-- let's get to bed, he insists, discarding your Christmas jumpers on the floor.

AU!Nanami Kento who has finished off Christmas in the very best way (in his humble opinion); in between your legs, gazing at you in unadulterated adoration as you whisper your love to him in the lamplight.

AU!Nanami Kento who reaches over you into his bedside drawer, just before sleep washes over you; just one more gift, he hushes behind your ear, and your heart leaps into your throat as his fingers unfold in front of you, to reveal a single tiny square box.

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Merry Christmas, you beautiful little sausages.

-- Haitch xxx

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ddreamywitch · 3 months ago

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Chapter Four - That You Are

knight!benjicot blackwood x princess!reader

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my favourite so far

warnings: mentions of violence and blood, arranged marriage

song: That You Are - Hozier

You let your eyes wander.

It was not a rarity for the king to request to dine in the gardens, though you don’t understand why he never has a tent put up so one might not suffer so much beneath the mid-day sun.

It is still summer, the last inklings of it clawing uncomfortably at your dignity as you excessively fan yourself, just below the line of impropriety.

Your sister has clicked her tongue at you multiple times now, in hopes that you might calm yourself, but you cannot and you will not relinquish your only means to cool down the tiniest bit.

To your right sits Benji. Actually sits and does not lurk behind you or a few feet away, as your father, so very graciously had ordered him to take a seat and is now boasting over how smart the deal he made with the Brackens and the Blackwoods is and how only a true king could come up with such skilled thinking.

You’re fairly certain that this could not have come from the little bit of dazed brain he must have left but nobody speaks out, least of all Benji, who simply nods and every now and then thanks the king.

It’s all quite arduous to sit through and your mind keeps circling back to the end of town and wondering whether the medicine you had made in a hurry two nights ago was doing what it was supposed to do.

Marion had gone bright red in the face when you had informed her of your indiscreet meeting in the dungeons but you cannot seem to muster up even an ounce of concern over having shared your secret with Benji.

Quite the opposite, actually.

You allow yourself a stolen glance at him and this newfound sensation overwhelms you again. You cannot figure it out, incapable of identifying the strings that pull at your heart, but it has fluttered up ever since you had entrusted him with your concoction, grown stronger still, when he gave you a clandestine wink to inform you that everything had arrived safely and where it should be.

Cordelia nudges you beneath the table. “Did you hear a word he just said to you?”

You frown. “Tristan didn’t say anything.”

“No, but father did. You are to begin a courtship with the young Lord Cathcart.”

Your heart drops to your feet, hand clutching onto your sister’s before you glance up to see a wide-smiled Lady Cathcart, her spider-like fingers curled around the king’s biceps.

Just then your father lays his eyes upon you and smirks. “Is that not wonderful news? And your knight will be there to protect your honour throughout this. Before we know it, there will be more grandchildren roaming the world.” That last part he directs at his mistress, with a beyond disturbing wiggle of his brows.

You look at Cordelia and Tristan, both of them blank faced.

Benji swirls the wine in his cup from side to side and nobody speaks for an awfully long amount of time.

The other advisors at the table do not seem thrilled either.

House Cathcart births unpleasant people, to put it quite kindly. Their Lady was a great example, an insufferable little parasite, clearly seeking to fuck her way into power and sparing nothing but ill-temper and rude words for anybody she does not view as important.

She is an embodiment of sleaze, if one that has been blessed with wonderful teeth and hair.

Her younger brother is not much different. You had heard the ladies of the court whisper about his disgusting lack of manners.

“Father, might I remind you that I have many offers from much…,” you pause, contemplating whether you would actually like to speak your mind. “Well much more esteemed birth.”

Apparently your father has had enough of your face because he no longer makes the effort to look at you. “And yet, you have not enticed them. You will begin your travels to visit him tomorrow.”

You desperately try to think of a young nobleman you would prefer to spend time with, yet your mind goes blank, your brain one continuous noise of a warhorn being sounded.

You let go of your sister’s hand and scrape your knife across your plate as the conversation resumed, occasional attempts of naming other highborn heirs, perhaps even from another kingdom.

Sure, you think to yourself, might as well remove me from the only home I know. Might as well let me be a cattle to be bred an ocean away.

“Your highness, I believe it is time for your dance lesson,” Benji says.

Your head snaps up. It is not.

He nods, the slightest bit, and then turns away.

You are not certain, but you think the apples of his cheeks are tinted light pink.

“I must be excused,” you say, as Benji already pulls out your chair for you.

Cordelia and Tristan exchange a look that you wholeheartedly ignore and yet nobody else bats an eye.

A third-born daughter’s daily schedule is not of importance to them.

In long strides you walk away from them all, with every inch of distance you can feel your heart cinching, breath shortening and by the time you’re inside the castle, you cannot see straight ahead.

“Hold on one moment, Princess,” he says and grabs your arm to push you down a narrow hallway, his arm around your waist the moment you are hidden from plain sight. Gratefully you lean your whole body weight against his, until you are back in your kitchen.

With a swift movement you are sat on your chair, hunched over desperately trying to get air into your lungs, even stale and wet dungeon air, tainted by the stark smell of clandestine medicinal practice.

But you cannot.

Your mother had died shortly after birthing you. Cordelia had struggled through every pregnancy, growing weaker with each child planted in her body and then clawing its way out.

You think you might hurl.

“Princess..,” Benji carefully mumbles.

You try to see him through the blind panic and fury that clouds your mind but your eyes won’t focus, horrible images of what would happen to you.

“I can’t breathe,” you gasp.

He kneels in front of you, his hands clutching at yours. “Yes you can.”

His voice is laced with uncertainty, as though he doesn’t believe his own words.

Firmly you shake your head. “No, get me out.”

He drags his thumb across the soft palm of your hand. “Out of where?”

Another sharp gasp.

Here, this palace, this family, this kingdom, this world.

“My corset,” you all but whimper.

There is a moment of hesitation, where you cannot hear or feel anything but your own soft cries.

Then he gets up and walks behind you.

“My god, this thing is built like a trap,” he mumbles, rough fingers fiddling with your bodice.

You might have laughed at that.

It takes him long to help you out of it, revealing the fishbone corset, your hands now clawing at your neckline, praying for some sign of sweet release.

He is taking forever, or maybe he is not but you have lost all sense of time and space.

Finally there is the sound of a barbaric rip and you are left in your linen shift, panting heavily.

You slump forward and bury your head in your hands.

Unwilling to be seen, or look him in the eyes - eyes that are undoubtedly looking at you with nothing but pity.

“Princess..,” he whispers again. You can feel one rough hand through the thin fabric as he circles around to your front.

You shake your head, like a child. “He can’t do this. I’m not ready.”

A soft touch against your wrists, softer than you had thought possible from him. “You’re a witch. Just put poison in his wedding night supper,” he says.

You snort, an ugly sound, much unlike your usual demeanour. “You-” Hiccup. “Speak treason, Ser Benjicot.”

Carefully he interlinks your hands into one and pulls them from your face. Your forehead hurts from where you dug your nails into it. “You’re smart for a capital girl, you will manage.”

His face is kind and warm, a desire to make you smile clearly etched into the twinkle of his eyes.

“I won’t kill my husband. He is not at fault for my father’s failures.”

Benji huffs. “And I am the one speaking treason.”

You hiccup again. “He is the king but he is my father no less. And he is horrible at both.”

His fingers sweep hair out of your face, unthinkingly, quickly. “His children turned out quite well either way. A benevolent queen, an honourable heir to the throne and a witch.”

Now he manages to make you smile lightly. “My god, what must a lady do for you to not tease her.”

“I would rather not say,” he answers, and you know there is a double meaning there but you don’t know how to decipher it. You have studied the human body but some things will lie beyond your book knowledge.

Until your bedding ceremony, that is.

Your face drops again and you lean back. “Have a seat somewhere, would you? I do not wish for you to crouch in front of me.”

“I am your knight. Kneeling comes with this duty.”

You huff. “Does ripping up royal corsetry and sneaking potions into town also go along with it?”

He scrapes the chair across the floor and plops down beside you.

The two of you sit, and though your eyes are set on the cauldron in the corner of the room, you know he is looking at you.

Perhaps he wants you to say that you feel better?

You decidedly do not, this is after all your deepest fear becoming reality.

Benji nudges the tip of his boots against your calf.

Everything between the two of you is contrasting.

“We will find a way. The counsel is against his choice as well, he may be the king but he is not a king at heart and soul.”

A deep sigh escapes you, hiccups slowly fading away.

“Mayhaps he will be overthrown by the time we reach Lord Cathcart’s castle,” Benji adds.

Would you want it that way?

Yes.

Yes you would.

You would not want him dead, you think, but you want Tristan to rule. You want your father to desert the throne and leave it for somebody capable and dignified.

Somebody who has honour.

“Won’t you cheer up, little witch. You still have Marion and me to come with you.”

A hand flies to your mouth. Marion. “She won’t come. And even if she would like to, I will not let her. Her love won’t let her. Her life is here and her family and friends.” Your hands claw at each other, nervously digging into tender flesh.

Benji hums. The weight of his oath must be a harsh burden to carry. He will never have a choice but to go where you go.

“I am sorry,” you whisper. “For it all. I know you hate it here.”

He shrugs and grabs your hand. To prevent you from scratching it bloody, you’re certain.

“I am a man of honour and strength. I suppose it is best put to use for your protection. And the occasional smuggling and destruction of dresses far more expensive than my pay.”

You snort. “It didn’t suit me anyways. Made me pale.”

“Told you. I like red best.”

He winks. “Like the colour of your cheeks turn sometimes.”

With little force you shove him, your fingers still securely interlinked. “Watch it, I’ll begin sobbing again, my knight.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You had bid your goodbyes to everyone at dinner tonight.

A courtship, successful or not, could take many moons and this one is nearly set in stone to end in marriage. Your return home, for now, is a distant dream that you can’t put faith into.

Surprisingly many people had grieved over your farewell.

Much of the courtiers and even more of the staff insisted that they would miss you.

Cordelia did not leave your side the entire evening and repeated many times that marriage is less scary than one might expect and that for the most time, your husband would likely leave you be.

Even Tristan, ever so calm at all times, had looked as though he might like to tie you up if that meant you got to stay and you couldn’t help the deep gratitude you felt for Benji’s consistent, calm presence next to you.

Though you couldn’t claim that you were not deeply embarrassed over how dishevelled he had seen you today, even after he had assured you multiple times that he did not care, as you snuck through the secret passageway back to your room, his cape draped around you.

Marion had wept the most; her waterlike, bendy fingers preparing your hair for dinner, achieving perhaps her finest work yet.

It seems sadness is the greatest motivator of the human mind, tears streaming down her face and yet leaving your hair in neat braids. She had apologised many times, that she could not go on this journey with you and that she would likely forever miss your generosity, something you felt she was inflating greatly.

After all, she had risked her position and even her life every single time she snuck you in and out of the castle walls.

Your fingers cramp around your quill.

Over the course of your meal, you have come up with a plan once again, though this one might be the most idiotic one yet.

You know that almost everyone with blood rushing through their veins inside this castle is opposed to this marriage and maybe there could be another way to get out of it, but you know it would take long and you will not let your father torture you in the mean time.

Droplets of ink stain your wrist as you scratch forcefully across the parchment.

You are not dense. You had never tried to trick yourself into believing your betrothal would occur from a love match but you had always been able to comfort yourself with the fact that at the very least you were to do something useful to your family line.

Marry into another important house, a house of wealth or with a strong army. Something that would strengthen the crown and its representation in the kingdom.

Colour drains from your face each time you think about this fate.

You’d be ridiculed in the history books, married off to a Baron, the lowest of ranks anybody in your line had married into, ever since the claiming of the throne.

No, you must leave and you must do so quickly.

Your finished letter remains on your pillowcase.

Wrapped in your velvet robe you peek out of your door into the hallway where the nightwatch had taken Benjicot’s place a few hours ago.

“Ser Lawrence. Ser Timon. I wish to not be disturbed during my last night in the castle. Any and all visitors must immediately be sent away,” you tell them.

“Yes, your highness.”

Satisfied you go to lock the door, but then quickly remember.

“Ser Timon, please tell your cousin that he must reapply the bandage and salve everyday.”

And with that you turn your back.

You switch your robe out for the most simple dress you own.

While Ser Rodrick had still been around, Marion had kept a better disguise hidden in one of the trunks beneath your bed, but when the change of protector was imminent, she had taken it back home, in fear of being caught.

You slip into a hooded cloak, in hopes it might do more to keep your identity hidden, wrap a satchel filled with jewellery around your waist, in hopes to pay for travels.

You wish you could take your horse.

Fury is a good horse, in your humble opinion, the most empathetic and perfect companion one can ask for.

Weirdly, she reminds you of Benji, now that you contemplate it.

She looks scary; tall and black and when you had gotten her she was unruly and stubborn but that quickly faded.

A terrifying thought crosses your mind suddenly.

What would happen to Benji? If you were to disappear, would he have to die for it?

You halt in the middle of your room.

No.

That is not a price you are willing to pay for your freedom. You could not in good conscience be responsible for such an atrocity.

Maybe they would let him off the hook? After all there had been a deal made with the Blackwoods, perhaps his family would revolt?

Would your father have his head still?

And in mere seconds your last bubble of hope had burst and rained onto you in glittering glass shambles.

Benji was tough to crack and a little rebellious but you won’t have his blood on your hands forever.

You gaze out the window, see the distant sea.

But you could still sneak out. For one final night. Check on your medicine. Maybe you could find a tavern to spend time in.

Marion had always said that she loved nothing more than to dance with the common folks, telling never-ending stories of how much lively the music is than at your royal balls, how free and funny the people are.

Yes, you might not run away but for once in your life you would simply do what you wanted to do.

You pull up your hood and slip into the narrow staircase behind your bookcase.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The streets were bustling, even after nightfall, people chatting away, merchants yelling from every corner, sounds of life buzzing in your ear.

You are smiling, weaving through the crowd. A stranger had handed you a daffodil, proclaiming his inn had the best hunter’s stew in all the kingdom.

Another had told you she could read your future from the palm of your hand, which you of course deemed ridiculous, but had let her do anyway.

She told you that you were destined for a great love. Ridiculous, but endearing in a peculiar way.

Now you were hoping to find that tavern that Marion so loved to frequent. It was called duckling, or something to that extent. An odd name for a place where people go to drink and celebrate.

But your feet carry you still, steps lighter than air. You had noticed that your boots were a tad too white, and had promptly walked through every possible puddle to blend in.

It was exhilarating. You know your privileges and you know them well, but while all the rest of the nobles question how the people of lower birth could live like this, you wonder how you could have gone your life without this.

Every path revealed something exciting.

When you had snuck out with Marion, she had dragged you through quiet back alleys, to avoid as many people as possible, but now you wonder if she wasn’t also trying to keep you from being drawn into this magical world you are witnessing now.

A shoulder bumps you and you stumble a bit.

“Oi watch where you’re going,” came a gruff voice and you almost want to laugh, heart melting at the vulgarity of it, but you have the good sense to not.

“I’m sorry, good man.”

He grunts and goes to move along but then something catches his eye and he stops.

“Where you from?” He asks.

He has a strong build, tall and burly. You try not to let that worry and flash him a smile. “Arbormere.”

The man steps forward. You don’t step back. Marion and Ser Rodrick had drilled into you for a long time, that fear is one’s worst enemy.

“Are ya, now? I ain’t ever met a girl from over there.”

You shrug. “I am their queen’s handmaiden. She is visiting her family,” you lie, quick as the wind and then you decide that you should not remain in one place for so long, shuffling to step past him.

He blocks the way and before you know it he’s grabbed your arm, with enough force to make you shriek in surprise.

You squirm beneath his grip, attempting to meet the eye of a passerby desperately but nobody seems to notice this scene playing out.

“Let me go,” you order, with as much authority as you can muster.

With too much ease, you are ripped into a side street. It smells rotten and you close your eyes when the back of your head meets the cobbled wall.

“Pretty girls like ya’self shouldn’t roam foreign streets,” he says. His breath smells acidic as it fans across the side of your face.

“Help,” you croak out but you know it is of no use. There isn’t a soul here to hear you in this dark corner.

He squishes your face between one hand, thumb deep in the soft of your cheek.

“Somebody should teach you a lesson, aye.”

“Yeah and somebody should teach you some fucking manners, you fucking cunt,” a voice rings.

Benji.

Your face is freed from his grip and you rub where it hurts.

“Piss off, lad. Ain’t none of your business,” the man tells him.

Something unfamiliar flashes across Benji’s face, a shadow of something sinister.

Bloody Ben, you think.

“Get the fuck away from her,” he growls through clenched teeth.

He laughs at Benji, his arms crossed. “I’m not gonna fucking say it twice, boy. Piss–”

He can’t finish his sentence before Benji is on him, a disgusting sound of bones cracking as his fist connects with his nose.

You yelp, a hand pressed to your mouth in an instant. This stranger is considerably larger than Benjicot, who himself could not be described as a slender man.

The pair of them tumble to the ground and with every hit your sworn protector takes, you wince, as though you were feeling them yourself.

Blood sprays across their faces, their hands, the hem of your shirt and you wish you could avert your gaze.

Something glitters.

“Knife,” you scream. “He has a knife.”

But Benji has already registered it.

In a movement so smooth and quick that it was barely noticeable, the knife is stuck in the man’s hand.

He wails, guttural and gory and tries to crawl back.

Your knight gets up from the ground, towers above him. “Get the fuck away.” Then, in an act so raw you are almost taken aback, he spits on him.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the stranger staggers away, as fast as his delirious self can.

There is a sickening swirl in your stomach and for a moment you think you will cry, but then good sense wins and you leap toward Benji.

Panic strains your voice. “Are you well?” You ask, gently inspecting his face. His nose is bleeding profusely. It stains your fingers, streams down to your wrist, thin red streaks across your skin and white linen sleeves.

He nods. Distance clouds his eyes but then it is almost like he snaps back to this world.

He flicks your hands away, and searches your face, the way you had done his.

You grimace. He is clearly in much worse condition.

“You fucking idiot. Don’t fucking ever frighten me like this again,” he whispers.

“Do you know what could have happened? What you look like?”

He raises your hands to eye level. “Your hands are soft, you’ve not done work with them ever. Your hair shimmers, you walk like a fucking fairie and you reek of rose and lavender.”

With each word his voice raises to a whisper-shout. “Do you know how lucky you are that you weren’t recognised? How lucky you are that I got here in time?”

The tips of your ears run hot. “I just wanted-”

“What? To run away and die in a ditch?”

You shake your head fervently. “No! I was going to return, I just forgot to rip up the letter! I didn’t mean to-”

He scoffs. “You’re lucky I was the one to find that thing. You’re the luckiest girl in the world, in fact.”

Now there will likely be many moments in the future where you regret this moment but you cannot help yourself. “You call this situation lucky? I am lucky that I will be shipped off to be fucked by a disgusting little man for the rest of my life, be forced to bear his children, do as he pleases me to do, until the day I die? You think this is lucky? I would rather spend my time working every hour of every day of every week of every moon until my bones fail me.”

Benjicot comes even closer, the tips of your noses are almost touching. “Do not ever do something like this again. I will give you as much freedom as I can, but I suppose you did not plan to spend a night of freedom being defiled in some dark alley. Don’t you ever do this to me again.”

To him.

“Understood?”

He has engulfed your senses, speaking seems too hard a chore now. You nod. Is it normal for a knight to chastise his princess like this?

“Good,” he whispers, but you don’t let him get away.

You use the tissue tucked into your cleavage and dab at his nose. Crimson red stains the colour of house Aprikate. “I think I should set your nose.” Your voice is faint, like you’re worried you might scare him off, like some jittery woodland creature.

“Hmm.”

Your hand pulls away and your eyes lock. You swallow thickly. That new sensation haunts you again.

Benji’s hand curls around the small of your back.

This feels dangerous. You can’t bring yourself to end the moment.

He does it for you.

“Let’s return to the castle.”

The air feels tense, new and vibrant the entire way home.

taglist:

@dancingbaek

@jhepolie

@knight-of-flowerss

@majoso12

@rebeccawinters

@poppyflower-22

@nixtape-foryou

@accidentpronedork

@xlittlefiend

@vqmpyrecult

#benjicot blackwood #hotd #benjicot blackwood x reader #davos blackwood #benjicot x reader #house of the dragon

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xxspringmelodyxx · 10 months ago

Text

Misunderstanding

Gojo Satoru x F!Reader (Angst)

You have unfortunately found yourself falling in love with the one man you shouldn’t have. The one man who told you himself that love was a curse. You knew he would never be able to love…and if he did, it would be with Utahime. Those two were spending a lot more time together than usual, and that was a tell-tale sign that they would soon become a thing….or at least, that’s what you thought.

______________________________

Warnings: None

Word count: 6.3k

_____________________________

I looked up at Toru, watching his eyes sparkle as he continued to talk about his crazy day. I was too dazed by his eyes, feeling my heart race just a bit from seeing the gorgeous blue hue they had. They were especially pretty when he was talking about something he was passionate about, just like now. I could quite literally stare into his eyes forever.

That was shortly lived, however, as the sound of a door opening came from behind me, though I ignored it. Toru, unfortunately, did not. Not even a few seconds passed before he looked away, his eyes catching something…or someone else. My eyes followed his and saw our good friend, Utahime. I looked back at him and saw that he was staring at her with what looked like infatuation. I felt a tight pain in my chest as he continued to stare at her. What I would do to get him to look at me like that. The thought of it made my heart flutter a bit, quickly snapping back to normal as I realized I was daydreaming again.

I looked up at him once more and saw that his body was tensed up as well. Was he…nervous? I had never seen him like this before, well at least not towards people. Without realizing it, my body involuntarily tensed up as well. I won’t lie, I felt a little hurt that he would look at her anytime she showed up, completely ignoring me.

For the past three months, whenever Toru and I were alone together, she would just come in and ruin the moment. If she wasn’t your friend, you would hate her with all your being…

I looked away from Toru once I realized I had completely lost him. My posture started to slouch a bit as I started to grab my things to get ready to leave. All I needed to do was make an excuse and, voila, Ill be out of their hair.

While I was thinking of how I could get out of this situation, Utahime looked back at you two and rolled her eyes at him, looking at you. Her face brightened up a bit as she walked closer to you two. At this point, Toru had already stopped talking about his day, subtly fidgeting with his sleeve as she came closer.

“Hey N/n! Satoru.” She said as she sat down next to me, placing her arm around you to give you a slight hug. Not wanting to be rude, you gave her one back.

No matter what feelings you had for Toru, you knew it wasn’t her fault that she caught the attention of the white haired boy. After all, she was a good and true friend to you.

“Hey ‘Hime.” You said, trying to hide the sadness behind your voice. Unbeknownst to you, the two caught it with ease.

“Are you okay?” She asked, unsure of where this sudden sadness came from.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a little tired.” You lied, making the both of them confused.

“Well, that stinks! Because I was hoping that you would come to the park with me later tonight with Satoru, Shoko, Geto, and I. We were all planning to hang out for a bit since it’s been a while since we last hung out.” She said, hoping you would say yes to going.

“Didn’t we all hang out last week?” I asked, making her pout.

“Yes, but it was fun! We need to do it again! Human communication is good for the mind and the body. We could even play baseball, your favorite sport!” She said with her hands clasped together. I rolled my eyes playfully, smirking a bit.

“Last time I remember, Baseball is your favorite sport. Besides, I think I am a bit tired out.” You said, making Toru and Utahime look at each other with concern.

“W-We could just come over and hang out with you!” Toru suggested, but you shook your head.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just need a little…alone time for myself.” You said, still feeling hurt from the whole Toru situation. Gosh, you knew it was a horrible idea to fall for him. He even said it himself that love is the greatest curse…so why the hell is he falling in love with Utahime! Sometimes you just wish everyone would just go away and maybe…just maybe your feelings would eventually disappear as well.

Oh how you wish you could just go back to the times where all you felt for Toru were platonic feelings. At least then you would have probably felt more energized and happy. But now, you are stuck with stupid feelings for a stupid guy.

“Oh come on, N/n! Just stay for thirty minutes with us! I’ll even make the boys carry you if you need it. Please!” Utahime begged, holding your hands in hers, hoping you would say yes.

You looked up at her eyes and saw how desperate they were. You sighed, wishing you could just say no…but you’d feel bad if you did. She’s doing those stupid puppy dog eyes on you, too.

“Fine, but only thirty minutes. No more.” I said, making her smile widen.

“Good! That’s all we need!” She spoke, looking towards Toru now.

There that awful feeling was again. The feeling that made your stomach churn and your heart break little by little. The feeling that made your throat stiffen up, making it feel as though you were swallowing nails.

“Listen, it was really nice talking to you two…but something just came up and I need to go.” I said, packing my things and quickly standing up to get out of there. However, Toru and Utahime both stood up and tried to follow you.

“Wait, is it something bad? Do you need our help?” Utahime asked once more.

I waved them both off, trying to rush to the door so they wouldn’t ask any more questions.

“don’t worry about it. Just got a call about an important thing I need to attend to.” I said, lying straight through my teeth. I cringed a bit at my poor excuse, but I needed to get out of there fast before the two of them started ogling eyes at each other.

“Are you sure?” Toru asked, quickly noticing that you were lying.

“Positive. See you both tonight.” You said, finally getting out of the building you three were in and rapidly walking towards your car. You buckled up and left the area, going right back to your apartment.

———

“Ow! What the hell was that for!” Satoru hissed at Utahime for slapping him on the shoulder.

“What is wrong with you, you idiot! You were supposed to ask her to go with you!” She yelled at him.

“I know…but….I got nervous.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock! By the way, way to ignore her after I came in.” She glared at the boy.

“It’s not my fault! I couldn’t just keep looking into her eyes! Her bright, beautiful, gorgeous looking, eye catching-“

“Yeah we get it Romeo. You get nervous looking into her eyes, causing you to look anywhere but at her. But you looked like a total dick when you did that! You need to learn to keep eye contact with her! And DON’T look at other women when talking to her, then getting distracted! How the hell did you think that was okay?!” She said back to him.

“I don’t look at other women! I just looked at you because you came barging in yet again!” He yelled back

“Because you sent the signal that you need help! You have done this for the past three months and we have gotten nowhere! I swear this is the longest and most borish way of asking a girl to be your girlfriend! I’ve seen teenagers more efficient in asking out their crush!”

“Yeah, well they don’t understand the risk that will come if the other person doesn’t accept. They don’t have to worry about losing a lifetime relationship just because someone caught feelings!” He said back to her, placing his hands over his face as he tried to calm down.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be so hard to ask her.” He mumbled into his hands. Utahime placed her hand on his shoulder, scooting closer to him, and trying to soothe him.

“Listen, I know it’s nerve wracking, but you can do this. You are Satoru Gojo! Deemed the strongest of them all! And you’re going to let something like this trouble you?” She asked

“But this is Y/n we are talking about, Utahime. I…I love her. Literally everything about her is the embodiment of perfection. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her personality. Everything. What if she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings as I do? What will happen then? I don’t want to risk our relationship we already have going if it means I would lose her for good.”

“If you don’t try, you will regret it later on in your life and it will come back to haunt you every day if you don’t. If you do try, then at least you know you did everything you could.” She said, smiling softly at the stressed out man sitting in front of her.

Satoru stayed silent after what she said, taking her words into consideration.

He was terrified to say the least. What if you didn’t respond too well to his confession? What if you only see him as a friend…or worse, a brother? What if your guys’ relationship that you already had would be gone forever?

He rubbed his face in frustration, hating this rare feeling. Never in his life did he think he would actually fall in love with someone, let alone his lifelong best friend.

But then, Utahime’s words replayed in his head over and over again.

What if he never asked you? Would he truly be filled with regret? Sure his friendship with you would be fine…but would he be fine many years down the line when he sees you with another man that wasn’t him? Would he be fine with never knowing what could have been if he did ask? What would happen if you did accept?

Suddenly, he feels his heart race as his body starts to tingle at the thought of you accepting. That would make his whole world complete.

He still thinks to the day he realized he caught feelings for you. He and you were walking alone together down a street, just enjoying each other's company. You treated him like he was a regular human being, rather than this untouchable and other worldly being. You made him feel happy. You made him feel safe and… loved.

He remembered looking down at you as you smiled happily, talking about a memory from your guys’ childhood. He remembered how the golden sun rays hit your face perfectly, lighting your entire body up. You truly looked like an angel.

He remembers your scent that day. A warm and sensual scent that would drive anyone crazy, including him. The short and simple dress you wore, elegantly swaying in the opposite direction as it hit your thighs.

Everything about that day was beyond compare. That was when it hit him that he, the strongest sorcerer in the world, had captured feelings for you. He tried his best to deny it for several, long months. But as each day passed by, he noticed his want for you grew even stronger. He would catch himself staring at your hands, wondering what they would feel like to hold. He would constantly stare at your eyes, getting lost in them every time you spoke because they would sparkle. He would stare at your lips without you noticing, wondering what they would feel like on his. He watched as your hair blew softly in the wind, wondering what it would feel like as he played with it. Not a single day passed by where he didn’t think about you. And after almost a good two and a half years, he realized that he couldn’t deny his feelings about you anymore.

That’s when he reached out to Utahime about it because you and her were good friends as well. He wanted to get advice from her about how to ask you out. She was ecstatic to say the least, and agreed on making a plan to help you two get together. And so, three months later, here they were, still trying to figure out how to get you and him alone so that he could muster up the confidence to finally confess and ask you out.

“You are right, Utahime.”

“As usual.” She said

“And tonight could be perfect! All I need to do is get her alone-“

“Somewhere near a large fountain…maybe a tree on a hill! The lake even!” She interjected

“But how will I ask her? How should I confess to her? Should I just straight up tell her, ‘hey I am madly in love with you, so please go out with me.’?” He asked, making Utahime place a finger on her mouth, signaling to him that she was thinking.

“How about you practice with me? That way, we can go over what you should say, and what you shouldn’t say.” She suggested, making Satoru shrug.

“It’s worth a shot. I want to make this perfect for her.” He said, making Utahime smile.

“Then lets go over it. First things first, you’ll want to ease your way into your confession. Talk about something you two will remember.” She said.

Soon, the two of them worked little by little, revising when needed, and worked on making the best speech of all time.

However, little did they know that this would absolutely destroy their future plans.

As they were speaking, a certain someone came back to grab her phone as she left it due to her hurry to leave

———

As I was driving back to my apartment, I realized I didn’t have my phone. Sighing with frustration, I stopped my car as I realized I had left it back with Toru and Utahime.

“Damn it!” I spoke quietly under my breath.

I took another turn and headed back to the building I just left.

As I drove there, I was praying silently that those two would have already left. I was still hurting from the two of them, so I knew it would be hard for me to see them there.

I took one more turn and parked right in front of the building.

I got out of my car and looked up a bit to see both Toru’s and Utahime’s vehicles there.

“Great. This is just great.” I said, looking up to the sky. I noticed the weather was quickly changing, seeing the once light blue sky being quickly replaced with gray clouds that looked ready to release a monsoon.

I had better hurry up. Last thing I need now is an outdoor shower.

I picked up my pace a bit and made it towards the main entrance to the building. However, just as I was about to open it up, I heard Toru and Utahime talking.

Quietly, I placed my ear up against the door, eavesdropping in on what they were saying. However, I wished at that moment, that I never did.

“I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Every day when I think of you, my heart melts and I get this weird feeling in my stomach.” I heard Toru say.

My eyes widened a bit as I felt the pit of my stomach drop.

“There isn’t a passing day where I don’t think about you. Not a single one. I honestly wish I told you all of this sooner so that we could have spent more time together as one rather than two.”

Second by second, I felt my heart slowly crack with each sentence he spoke to Utahime.

It was until he said four final words that really broke everything.

“Will you be mine?” He finished

That’s when your entire world fell apart. Tears that were pooling in your eyes began to fall involuntarily. Your breathing became uneven as you replayed his words in your head. He finally did it. He finally asked Utahime out to be his love….his one and only.

Silent sobs began to escape your mouth, and you knew you needed to leave. You forgot all about your phone, too hurt to remember.

You got in your car, started the engine, and quickly drove off to your place.

You knew it wasn’t possible. You just knew it. But a part of you had silently hoped that maybe it was all a trick in your mind. A part of you had hoped that maybe…just maybe…he had the same feelings as you did. But now, it was obvious that it was all just in your head. How could he ever love a girl like you when someone like Utahime exists? She must be perfect in his eyes. Pure beauty.

Tears kept falling down your eyes as you got closer and closer to your apartment.

Once you did make it to your place, you quickly ran in, noticing the rain beginning to start.

You went inside and threw your stuff on the couch and walked to your bedroom, shutting the door and sliding down it as sobs continued to come out of your mouth. You were absolutely heartbroken and you didn’t know what to do about it. Your cursed energy became uncontrollable and your plants started to wilt. Whenever a teardrop fell to the ground a small plant would uproot itself from deep underground, only for it to wilt once it reached you.

It was all over. There was no chance left for you. And you had to deal with that…all alone.

——

“Together as one rather than two?” Utahime said with a grimace.

“W-Well, yeah. Isn’t it smart?” Satoru said with a proud smirk.

“It sounds cheesy as hell.” She said, deadpanned, irking Satoru.

“Oh yeah! Well why don’t you-“ Satoru started, but stopped once he realized your phone was still here.

“Hm?” He spoke, picking up your phone.

“Shit, she must’ve left it here by accident.”

“Wow, you’re a sorcerer and a detective. You really have it all don’t you.” Utahime said, making Satoru glare at her a bit.

“Why don’t you go to her place and give it to her. It would be a good way for you to talk to her a bit before we all go out tonight.” She suggested.

“Hm…not a bad idea. Who knew you had the capacity in your brain to make smart suggestions.” He said, making her smack him

“Whose the one helping you out right now because you’re too terrified to do this all alone!” She spoke, making Toru smirk a bit before standing up.

“Well, I suppose I should head over to her place now before it gets too late. Maybe Ill go get some snacks and I can give them to her as an apology for ignoring her today. I still can’t believe I did that.” He said, mentally cursing himself for doing that to you.

“Well then you had better make a move on buddy. She doesn't have all year.” Utahime said, shooing him away to go and talk to you.

“Alright, alright. I’m leaving. I can tell when I am not wanted. At least my sweet Y/n will want me…I hope.” He said, his body stiffening up.

Utahime took notice of this and smiled, walking up to the poor guy. She placed her hand on his shoulder once more and encourage him.

“You will be fine, Satoru. Now go. It’s already pouring rain, so hurry it up.” She said, pushing him outside.

“Thank you again, Utahime. For helping me out with all of this. I won’t forget it.” He said, walking back to his car.

Now, time to go buy you a bunch of stuff!

——

A good hour had passed and you were still on the ground. Though you were not crying anymore. You just stared at your dead plants with an empty look. Suddenly, your puppy and kitten came in to cuddle up to you. They took notice that something was wrong with you.

You chuckle a bit when your puppy, Tico, licks your face.

Your kitten, Mochi, purred as she wrapped her tail around your arm. They both cuddled up to you, making sure to show you that they care about you. They felt so warm and soft, it almost made you fall asleep.

However, you felt dirty and gross, plus you also knew that a shower would help you a bit. So you got up and went to take a shower.

You started running the water, discarding your clothes into the hamper. You felt the warm water and got in, easing into the water as it splashed onto your skin.

You took a good while in the shower, thinking about your feelings, hoping they would wash away with the water and down into the drain.

Tears started to form in your eyes once again, threatening to spill out. It hurt so much. It hurt so much to the point where you didn’t want to go anywhere for a long time. All you wanted to do was stay home, watch TV, and eat.

Maybe you just tell everyone you fell ill so you don’t have to go out. So you don’t have to watch Utahime and Toru be all lovey dovey in front of you. The thought of it made you sick to your stomach.

Fuck.

Why did you have to fall in love with him? Why?!

You were so caught up in your mind that you didn’t even notice tears were falling down your face like a waterfall.

Maybe Toru was right after all…maybe love is the biggest curse in the world.

—-

“Wow, that’s a lot of food you got there. What’s the occasion?” The cashier asked behind the counter, taking notice of the cart full of sweets, savory foods, and…some flowers.

“Oh well, they are for a special someone.” Toru said, a very faint blush evident on his face.

“Oh? A lover perhaps?” She asked, taking each item and placing them nicely in a bag.

“I hope…” He said under his breath. His hands gripped tightly onto your phone, getting more and more anxious with every minute that passed by. Thoughts were screaming in his head about how you would never feel the same way as he did. He did his very best to get rid of those thoughts, trying to give himself a pep talk. He was the strongest sorcerer of all time. Anyone would want him….anyone….right?

Once he paid the amount that was due, he quickly left and got in his car. He started it up and drove to your place, thinking about what he would talk to you about.

—-

You put on some comfy sweat pants and a tank top, going to the living room and turning something on. Though, you didn’t pay attention to it at all as you were still too lost in your own mind. Your eyes were swollen from crying, your nose was red, and your cheeks were tearstained.

You sat on your couch as you ate some cereal, desperately trying to remove Toru from your head.

You noticed that every single plant in and outside of your place were all wilted, but you didn’t care at the moment. You could fix them anytime you please if you wanted, so for right now, you didn’t tend to them.

It was so dark and gloomy in your house, especially with the rain that was practically pouring right now.

You were about thirty minutes into the show you were watching, still not fully attentive of it, but still catching up on some bits of it. Mochi and Tico were lying on top of your legs, keeping you warm and cozy.

You placed another spoonful of cereal in your mouth, when all of a sudden, your doorbell rang. Mochi and Tico ran off, going towards the door with excitement.

Confused, you placed your cereal down and paused the movie you were watching. You got up and went to the door, not realizing you were going to regret it in a few seconds.

There, standing out drenched from the rain, was the last man you wanted to see right now. He was holding bags of stuff, and your phone.

——

I drove into Y/n’s parking lot, parking my car and sitting there in silence. My heart was racing as I thought about her once again. My hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel to the point where my knuckles were bright white.

I looked up at her place and noticed something was wrong. All of her plants were extremely wilted, barely holding onto what life they had left of them.

I started to grow concerned as Y/n would never let something like this happen. I quickly grabbed everything in the car and walked up to her door. My hair was drenched from being outside for too long, but thankfully, my coat kept the rest of me dry.

I rang the doorbell, starting to grow anxious again. Within a few minutes, the door finally opened and there…she stood…

I looked down at her and saw that she was a wreck. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face had tear stains on them…was she crying?

Suddenly, his concern grew more and more as he caught a glimpse of her. What the hell happened that caused you to look like this?

Whatever the case, he was going to make you feel better. He couldn’t stand seeing you like this. It broke his heart seeing you in such a distressed state.

“Y/n…what happened?” He asked with genuine concern.

—-

“Y/n, what happened?” He asked me, making my heart wrench from his voice. This was the last thing I needed.

“N-Nothing, please just…go away.” I said, trying to shut the door. However, Toru blocked it from shutting with his shoe, pushing the door open.

“What do you mean it’s nothing? Did someone do this to you? Did someone hurt you?” He asked, starting to grow frustrated.

You hurt me

I thought, as he asked his questions.

“No. Now just please leave me alone. I don’t want you over.” I said, growing equally frustrated at his stubbornness.

He wasn’t letting go though, not after seeing you like this. He cared far too much about you to just leave you be.

“Y/n. You are going to tell me what is going on, right now. I am not leaving until you do so.” He said sternly.

“Damn it, why are you so stubborn! Just go, Gojo!” You yelled pushing against the door.

His eyes softened, looking down at you with hurt as he realized you called him Gojo instead of the usual Toru.

He didn’t want to admit it, but that stung when you said that.

Were you mad at him? Did he do something?

“Y/n…I…please just tell me what is going on.” He said, pushing past his feelings so that he could figure out yours.

“If I tell you, it will ruin everything. Besides, it doesn't matter anyways…just go back to Utahime.” You said with a bit of bitterness on your tongue.

That caught him off guard.

“Utahime?” He asked, confusion hitting him hard.

“Yes, I heard everything Gojo. Everything. I heard your confession to her at the building. How you told her that not a second goes by where you don’t think of her. And if that is the case, why the hell are you even here? Shouldn’t you be spending time with the love of your life?” You asked, the plants around you starting to grow once again, a little too much though.

That was when it hit Satoru. You caught him practicing with Utahime. Fuck!

He looked down at you frantically and dropped everything in his hands, forcing the door open and grabbing you.

“Let me go!” You said, struggling to escape his grip.

“Y/n stop.” He started, but tears started to fall down your face and it broke him. It wasn’t someone else who hurt you, it was him. And all because of a huge misunderstanding.

“Y/n would you stop for once and just listen to me!” He yelled, making you stop and stare up at him, your eyes full of water. If it wasn’t for the situation you two were in right now, he would grab you and kiss you to make you stop.

“What could you possibly have to say?” You asked, your voice breaking a bit.

“Y/n…that conversation you heard…it wasn’t what you think.” He started, making it your turn to be confused.

“That conversation…I was…I was practicing with Utahime. It wasn’t meant for her.” He said, making you calm down a bit and actually listen to him.

“Then if not for her…then for who?” You asked. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear. If he said someone else’s name, you would officially break.

Before you could say anything else, you heard Toru sigh. His grip on your arms relaxed, and he let you go.

He suddenly became extremely fidgety with you, and you swore you could see a faint blush spread across his face. His eyes were now looking anywhere but at you.

“Y/n…that speech…it was actually made for…” He started, his breathing becoming more rapid from his nerves.

“Well….for you.” he said softly, still averting his eyes from your shocked gaze.

“W-What?” You asked, making sure you weren’t hearing things.

“It was for you, Y/n. I was just practicing it with Utahime because I wanted it to be perfect for you tonight when we all went out. You see, Utahime has been helping me try and confess everything to you for the past three months. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize it would be so hard confessing something like that to you. Every time I got nervous, I would send her a signal to help me out…but it always ended with you leaving.” He said, making your eyes widen at his confession.

“Y/n, I…I love you. A lot. Everyday I wish that you could be with me in my arms. I want to be the first thing you see every morning and the last thing you see at night. I want to hug you, touch you, kiss you, talk to you, and more. Everything about you is just so beautiful. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, all of it. I get nervous just thinking about you and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I tried to reject my feelings for you, but no matter how hard I tried, my feelings for you just came back stronger than ever. I was just so scared of losing you because I wasn’t sure if you’d like me back the same way.” he said, making your heart instantly repair from his words.

“But just say if this is all one sided and I will let it go. If I can’t have you romantically, I still wish to have you as a friend. I don’t want to sour our relationship we already have going.” He said, this time looking deep into your eyes. It all processed in your head too quickly, resulting in even more tears coming out of your eyes.

He took that as a bad sign however and sighed, feeling his heart break.

“I understand, I will just head out then. I don’t want to make this more awkward for the both of us.” He said, defeated.

However, just as he started to turn around and walk out. You ran towards him and hugged him, making you both fall to the ground.

“You never even let me say anything, you big idiot!” You said with tears still falling down your face. Quickly, all the plants and flowers in and outside of your place started to bloom like crazy.

“W-What?” He asked, still shocked from the sudden movement.

“I love you too!” You blurted out, making his eyes widen a bit and his heart race.

“Y-You…do?” He asked, completely in disbelief.

“Yes. I have loved you for so long. Almost three years. I just didn’t tell you because I thought you didn’t want to love someone. Also, I thought you had a thing for Utahime.” You said, making him sit up with you in his lap.

“Every time you would talk to me, I noticed how my heart would pick up its pace. I noticed how often I would stare into your gorgeous eyes and get lost in them. I noticed how often I would stare at your lips, just hoping that one day, they would get to touch mine. That was when I realized I had truly fallen for you. The one man who told me himself that love was the greatest curse of all time.” You said, making him chuckle sheepishly.

“I can’t believe I said that, especially now that I understand what it feels like.” He said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

Both of your faces heated up from the close contact. You could feel each other's breath on your lips as you came closer and closer.

“You said you wished for the day where my lips met yours?” He asked, making you look away from embarrassment, but you still nodded.

He chuckled and took your chin in his hand, making you face him.

“Don’t hide your pretty face from me, Y/n. I’m about to make your wish come true.” He said, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

It was at that moment where you felt as if everything around you didn’t exist. As if it were just you two alone in an empty space. You felt sparks as you felt his lips on yours, your heart was racing so fast you thought it was going to explode. He felt much the same. This was a moment he had been fantasizing about for ages. And it finally came true for the both of you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in closer to you, kissing him deeper.

After a few more seconds, you both released the kiss and stared at each other's eyes.

Suddenly, a vine from one of your plants wrapped around his arm, catching both of our attention. You gasped a bit from the overgrowth, barely able to see past your living room due to the crazy outburst of plants.

Toru chuckled a bit as you threw a mini fit at them, putting them back to normal.

Toru looked at you once more with a smile, rubbing small circles on your hips.

He kissed your cheeks, your eyes, the corners of your lips, and finally, your lips once again.

“I am sorry I made you cry this much. Had I known it would have done this to you, I would have confessed much earlier.” He said apologetically.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t know. Besides, that doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that we have each other now…” You said with your bright smile that he loves and adores.

“So…does this mean we are official now?” He asked, making you smile at him, playing with his hair.

“Why don’t you kiss me again and find out.” You said, making him smirk a bit. He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you into him, kissing you again with just as much love and passion as before.

“I love you, Y/n. I love you so much.” He said as he placed his forehead on mine.

I smiled, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

“And I love you, my Toru. More than you can imagine.” You replied, making his heart skip a beat once you said he was your Toru.

Suddenly, you both got a text from the group asking where you two were.

Toru replied and said that you two had a change of plans and decided to hang out together…alone.

Everyone in the group said some kind and sweet things…and some not so safe for work type of things.

Either way, you two ignored them and went back to each other.

“So what’s in the bags?” You asked, making him pick you up in his arms. A small squeak escaped your mouth as you felt his hands grip onto you.

“I bought a bunch of snacks for us to eat. They were supposed to be a little gift for you, but since you and I are going to be spending the night together, I figure it would be fun if we watched some movies and cuddled.” He said, making you chuckle at the amount of food he got.

“We are going to have the best time ever.” You said pulling him to the couch with you.

You two cuddled up together, turned on a movie and spent the rest of the night together. It was honestly one of the best nights that you both have had in a long time.

Toru kissed your head and whispered in your ear once more,

“I love you~”

You smiled again and turned your head to kiss him on the lips.

“And I love you~”

After that, you both slowly started to fall asleep in each other's arms, keeping each other warm and cozy.

______________________________

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hockeynoses · 1 year ago

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Happy Halloween! (a snz fic)

Male - cold, mess!, implied future contagion

~*~

He wakes up to sinuses that are absolutely packed with congestion. He’d gone to sleep last night with a tickle in his throat and a bit of a headache, but he certainly didn’t expect to wake up to this.

His nose starts streaming the second he sits up in bed, setting off a tickle deep in his nose. Still hazy from sleep and a head that feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton, he only manages to get his hand halfway to his face before erupting with a thick sneeze – “heh-nnggK’SHO!” that forces the gunk that had accumulated in his sinuses out, covering his hand in mess, the rest escaping into the air. He’s left with twin trails of clear liquid coating his upper lip as he shivers, dazed.

Leaning over to the nightstand, he thanks his past self for keeping a box of tissues stocked there as he pulls out several of them. He buries his face in the soft cotton and lets out a truly ill-sounding blow. The sound of it crackles through the air as more snot is dislodged, filling the bundle and soaking through to his hands.

He throws the ruined tissues to the floor and grabs the box, setting it next to him on the bed and pulling out fresh ones. His breath scissors in his chest before he snaps forward with a violent – “huh…ha-AHH’EEHGGSHH’IUE!” that explodes out of him.

He doesn’t dare remove the tissues from his face, groaning as he feels the wet mess of it against his skin. He gives a damp, clearing blow, strong enough to shift the pressure in his ears. He’s forced to breathe through his mouth as he crumples up the Kleenex and tosses them to the side.

I’m going to go through the whole box by noon, at this point, he thinks, flopping back onto his soft pillows. He rubs his knuckles against his itchy nose, already well on its way to becoming pink.

It fucking had to be today, he laments, allowing himself a small pity party. It’s Halloween, and he’d been planning on spending the day making treats for the party later tonight, as well as handing out candy to the trick or treaters. He’s just going to have to power through. Maybe it just seems worse because it’s still early and his body hasn’t had time to wake up yet.

As soon as he thinks it, his nostrils flare and he’s surprised by a wrenching double – “ha’GSSHH’IUE! Huh..ha’NGGSSHH’uh!” At the mercy of his own body and unable to cover in time, the viscous spray of it mists the sheets in front of him. “Ugh… oh god,” he groans, swiping at the mess on his face with his hand.

Remembering the box next to him, he pulls out a fistful of Kleenex and releases a gurgling, cold-ridden blow into the waiting tissues.

“Fugg, I don’t wadda be – heh… ha’ERRSSHH’IUE! – SNF. I don’t wadda be sigg today.” Noting the squishy pressure that still clogs his sinuses after so many clearing sneezes, he resigns himself to the fact that he most likely has come down with the cold from hell.

Yet, determined as he is, he’s not going to let it stop him from going on with his plans. He can still make the food for the party tonight, he’ll just have to be very careful about washing his hands and covering his sneezes. If he has to make them one-handed while holding a tissue to his dripping nose the whole time, then so be it.

He should be able to hide his illness enough that no one will be worried. Hopefully he’ll be able to hold it off enough so they won’t take one look at him and decide it isn’t worth the risk. Hell, the way he sounds, even just being in the same room as him might be risky enough. But he can’t let his friends down, and he doesn’t want to miss the party.

Pulling more tissues from the box, he catches a harsh, scraping – “uh…huh…ha’NNGGGSSH’ah!” into the bundle, containing all of the dense, contagious mess that his nose is constantly trying to force out of him. He gives one last marshy blow before getting up to start the day, box of tissues in hand. If he can just keep his nose under control, everything should be fine.

#snzblr #snzfic #snz fic #snzfics #snz fics #cw: contagion #tw: contagion #cw: mess #I wrote this with Ste/ve H. in mind but I made it generic for the masses!#Happy Hall/oween! I woke up and immediately wanted some Ste/ve Hall/oween horniness #I've been on a tear lately 😂#I wrote this in an hour so please be gentle and enjoy #hn tissue tag

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cuddlepilefics · 2 months ago

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Flushed cheeks + past prompts (Sicktember)

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jeongin

Caregivers: mainly Chan (+Minsung)

@sicktember

Prompts: flushed cheeks

“I might be a teeny tiny bit sick, but it’s fine.”

I didn’t mean to wake you

Borrowed hoodie

Psychogenic fever/stress induced illness

Aches and pains

My body is one big ache

Lethargy/exhaustion

Tepid bath

Vitamin c

Taking a sick day

Blankets

Asleep on the couch

warm soup

fuzzy socks

No one’s POV.:

Jeongin had been pretty run down for the past two weeks, which wasn’t really surprising considering the busy schedules he’s had. For weeks, he had constantly been stressed, unable to catch a break and it got to the point that he even stressed about being stressed. Tired didn’t even come close in trying to describe what he felt, so right now that they finally got a weekend off to rest and recuperate, Jeongin couldn’t imagine getting up at all. His limbs were heavy as lead and struggled to roll over and pull his blanket tighter but the light was peaking through the curtains and burned his eyes, keeping him from going back to sleep.

Chan had spent most of the night editing a track he had been working on and ended up sleeping almost till noon. When he finally emerged from his room, he figured Jeongin had already eaten breakfast and probably gone out to spend the day with some of the other members. He might even be visiting his family, though he didn’t mention anything the day before, at last not as far as Chan could remember. Only when the Aussie heard the bathroom door open and shut did he start to question his assumptions. He had figured Jeongin would join him as soon as he was done but the maknae simply went back to his room. Since he hadn’t seen his dongsaeng since the day before, Chan decided to check on him and was surprised to find the curtains drawn and the younger already back in bed, curled up under his blanket.

With the blanket pulled up to his chin, Jeongin turned to Chan, hair ruffled and cheeks flushed. He looked dazed with sleep still, which was weird as it was already lunchtime. “Hey there”, Chan hummed, crouching next to the boy’s bed. He smoothed Jeongin’s hair down and whispered: “Are you okay? You do feel a little warm to me. Want me to fetch the thermometer?” The younger shook his head and mumbled: “I might be a teeny tiny bit sick, but it’s fine. Don’t need to know if I have a fever or not.” – “Sick how?”, Chan frowned worriedly, cupping Jeongin’s flushed cheek. He was pretty confident that the maknae was running a temperature. “My body is one big ache”, Jeongin sniffled, closing his eyes, “And no matter how much I sleep, ‘m still exhausted.”

Chan took a seat on the edge of the bed and stroked Jeongin’s hair, humming: “I’m pretty sure you have a fever, so good thing you can take a sick day and rest as much as you need. Can I get you anything?” – “Some water please? Been kinda thirsty an’ my head hurts but the distance to the bathroom already felt so incredibly long”, the younger muttered. “Of course, I think I’ll also get you some Emergen-C. Might help giving your immune system a little boost. Do you think this is a virus you caught or is it stress induced?”, Chan inquired, his finger trailing down Jeongin’s neck to feel his lymph nodes. The maknae sleepily blinked up at him and yawned: “Could be stress induced, ‘cause it neither feels like a cold nor some kind of stomach bug. ‘m jus’ so lethargic and aching all over.”

“Do you feel like eating?”, Chan asked softly as he watched Jeongin sip his drink, “I could get you some ibuprofen once you got some food in your tummy, so we could get your fever down and maybe ease the aches and pains a little.” – “Not hungry. Think all I really need is rest”, the younger mumbled, placing his glass on the nightstand. Helping him settle back down under his blankets, Chan smiled: “Do you want me to leave you alone, so you can sleep?” Jeongin just shrugged at that. Being alone hadn’t really helped him sleep earlier, so maybe some company while he waited out his misery would be nice. “Or I could get my laptop and sit with you for a while. If you’d like that”, the leader offered, knowing his dongsaeng wouldn’t openly ask for it. When he received a tiny nod, he smiled: “Alright, be right back.”

With his headphones dangling around his neck, laptop under his arm, Chan returned to Jeongin’s room and handed the maknae an icepack. “Here, this should help bring your fever down and ease the headache a bit”, he explained, waiting for Jeongin to scoot over, so he could take a seat next to him. Getting comfortable curled up against his hyung’s side, Jeongin pressed the icepack against his forehead and sighed in relief. With how nice it felt against his flushed skin, there was no way he wasn’t running a decent fever but he hoped he'd be able to sleep it off soon.

“Are you still awake?”, Chan frowned, when the younger was still squirming an hour later. Jeongin nodded and groaned: “Can’t get comfy, everything hurts.” – “Okay”, the Aussie sighed sympathetically, “How about a bath? It might help?” – “Too much effort”, the maknae whined, making Chan chuckle. Petting his hair, the eldest teased: “Silly. You won’t even have to do anything. Let me go fill the tub, I’ll carry you there.” Before Jeongin got another chance to argue, Chan had already disappeared to the bathroom. He made sure the water would only be lukewarm, so it’d lower the boy’s fever and hopefully make it a little easier for him to rest comfortably.

“You ready, baby bread?”, Chan smiled as he tugged on Jeongin’s blanket, “Come on, hold onto my shoulders. I got you.” The younger groaned, his muscles protesting being moved. It almost felt like a bruise with how badly Chan’s touch ached but he knew it was still better that having to walk. Settling his dongsaeng on the closed toilet lid, the Aussie instructed: “Get undressed and into the water, yeah? I’ll fetch you a change of clothes. Do you want one of my hoodies?” Jeongin gave a pathetic nod and sluggishly tugged off his shirt, a borrowed hoodie enough to bribe him.

He sighed as he sank into the water. It should’ve been uncomfortable with the slight chill he had but for some reason it was soothing against his overly sensitive skin. When Chan returned to the bathroom, he placed the stack of clothes onto the sink and sat on the closed toilet lid. “Minho and Jisung are coming over later”, the leader announced, waving his phone around, “Most of the others are out but they were enjoying a quiet day and Minho was in the mood for a home cooked meal, so when they heard you’re sick, they decided to make soup.” – “’m still not hungry”, Jeongin mumbled guiltily, his heart clenching at the thought of his hyungs going out of their way for him on their day off without him even being able to really appreciate it.

Sensing that Jeongin was growing sleepy, Chan offered to wash his hair for him and steadied his shoulders as he climbed out of the tub, swaying lightly on his feet. Bundled up in a large fluffy towel, the maknae plopped down on the closed toilet lid and sniffled softly while Chan dried his hair for him. Cupping Jeongin’s cheeks, the leader cooed: “Your cheeks don’t look as flushed as they did earlier and you don’t feel as warm, so that’s good. How about a change of scenery? Do you want to lay on the couch? We could turn on the TV, so you don’t get bored if you don’t manage to fall asleep.” The younger nodded but reached up his arms, muttering: “Carry me, hyung?”

Chan got Jeongin settled on the couch with the instructions to pick a drama, while he went to collect a few blankets to bundle the boy up in. “Here, I also grabbed a pair of fuzzy socks, so your feet will stay warm. My mom warned me about catching a cold when my feet got cold. It’s probably too late for that but I doubt warm feet could hurt”, Chan rambled, throwing a blanket over the maknae’s body before sitting down at his feet to put the socks on him. Finally feeling more comfortable in his own skin, it didn’t take long for Jeongin to drift off to sleep.

When Minho and Jisung arrived at their friends’ apartment, Chan was quick to shush them with a finger against his lips and over the leader’s shoulder, Minho could see their dongsaeng asleep on the couch. “Oh, honey”, the dancer cooed as he kicked off his shoes. Jisung gave Chan a small smile and followed the Aussie to the kitchen, so he could put the pot of soup on the stove. Crouching next to the couch, Minho felt Jeongin’s forehead and frowned: “How long has he been this feverish? Oh, hey darling. I didn’t mean to wake you.” – “We already brought his temperature down quite a bit”, Chan informed, while Jeongin blearily glanced up at Minho, “He hasn’t taken any medicine yet though because I couldn’t convince him to eat.”

Hearing that, Jisung turned on the stove to heat up the soup before joining them in the living room. “Hey, Innie”, the rapper smiled plopping down on the floor next to the couch, “You’ve finally run yourself into the ground, huh?” The younger gave a sad nod and muttered: “This sucks. Just when we finally got some time off.” – “I know, lovely”, Minho shushed, stroking Jeongin’s flushed cheek, “We’ll make the best of this free day though, right? Hannie and I had planned a quiet day anyway, so our plans weren’t so different. We can just hang out together and I bet you’ll feel so much more like yourself once you’ve had some meds for that fever.” Closing his eyes, the maknae sighed before pushing himself into an upright position. “’m not hungry in the slightest, sorry”, he mumbled, “I know you cooked for me but….” – “It’s okay, baby bread”, Minho chuckled, “I didn’t think you were and I’m not expecting you to eat much. Just have a few bites so the pills won’t upset your stomach. I won’t be upset or offended if you can’t finish, I just thought forcing yourself to eat wouldn’t suck as much if it was warm soup.”

With the promise that it was okay if he couldn’t finish all of his soup, Jeongin eventually let himself be talked into eating a little. Chan was quick to supply the medicine he had set out earlier, glad that Minho could sweet-talk their dongsaeng so easily. Maybe he should’ve called the dancer sooner instead of having Jeongin suffer on his watch. Jisung helped the maknae pick out a new drama to watch together, while Chan and Minho changed the sheets on their dongsaeng’s bed. They didn’t want him having to go back to sweaty sheets later and were glad how readily he let himself be taken care of, though that in itself was a testament to how bad he must be feeling.

When the two eldest returned to the living room, they found Jeongin with his head in Jisung’s lap, the rapper gently playing with his hair. They had a drama playing but with how glossy the maknae’s eyes were, Chan doubted he was actually watching. Not having anything better to do and insisting a drama binge was his exact definition of a quiet day off, Minho settled on a bean bag next to the couch, so he could stay close to Jeongin too. Chan went to the kitchen first, preparing a tray with tea and snacks before joining his dongsaengs in the living room and settling in for a relaxing afternoon.

#fanfic #fluff #comfort #fanfiction #sickfic #sick #stray kids #skz #sicktember #sicktember2024 #sicktember 2024

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wishluc · 2 years ago

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hello miss asa! i was hoping you would consider my request: lilia taking care of a sick darling? i'm feeling very under the weather right now, and i'm just aching for lila to nurse me back to health <3 (i adore how you write him, so delightfully evil <3)

Awe anon :( wishing for your speedy recovery!

✧ CW: yandere character,

"Oh my," Lilia's cold hand brushes away some hair that had fallen over your forehead, "you're burning up," The way he says your name, oddly apathetic despite your state and the slight twitch of his lips makes you frown and sink down further into your bed.

Maybe he should try harder to appear concerned—not that he wasn't; there was genuine worry laced in his words—but the bitter taste of betrayal is still fresh in his mouth, and the displeasure that shuddered through him when he found you standing painfully close to your friend hasn't left him completely. Besides, he glances over to your figure, collapsed onto your sheets, you're clearly not in any state to be thinking too deeply about the off-putting smile and the hardness in his gaze.

Your reply is an incomprehensible garble, but by the tone of your voice, Lilia can already tell that you were protesting his aid, insisting he go back to his dorm. It was just like you to do that, even though it was clear from the tissues littering the floor and the circles under your eyes that you were hardly able to get by without him. Besides, your condition wouldn't ease up for a few more days, and this would serve as the perfect opportunity to spend some time together—something he wasn't able to do with you for a while already.

"Now, now," his airy laugh fills the room, and his hand goes to gently pinch at your cheek, "how could I leave you alone in this state? You forget that I've done this countless times before. I promise it's no bother."

He smiles at you again, light and easy, reminding you that despite the cracks in his exterior, he was still your ever-caring senior. His fingers caress your sweltering cheek before he makes his way around your room, cleaning up as he goes. Lilia talks to you, ignoring your dazed state, about his meeting with the music club, and how SIlver had fallen asleep mid-potion again. He doesn't mention Jamil, whose cooking you were complimenting the other day, jealousy still coiled around his heart. He rapidly flits around your room, flipping through your books and papers, staring uncomfortably long at the tart Trey had left you earlier before swiftly tossing it into the bin with all your other trash—even if you wanted to eat it, you couldn't have protested in your current state—and picked up your haphazardly thrown coat with a soft chuckle. Even your messes were endearing.

"I don't know how this happened" you mutter, cradling a cup of water in your hands, "I just woke up sick."

"Humans are so sickly," Lilia sighs, "Silver fell ill quite often too. But something about your demeanor tells me there's more to it than a simple illness. Almost like..."

He waits for you to take the bait, though he's tempted to just lean over and caress your cheek and whisper in your ear about how it had been quite some time since he last used this curse and how he carefully ensured that it shouldn't drain you off all your energy and leave you a corpse, but you wouldn't take well to that, even in your current state. Instead, he stays exactly where he is.

"What else...?"

Red eyes stare at you, void of any emotion. Lilia's mouth is set in a stern line, not allowing for an inch of familiarity, and slowly, he cocks his head to the side, his gaze narrowing and eyes gleaming. Your face looks almost as delightful as it did when he had you trapped during Beanfest, taking in shallow breaths and watching him warily. How cute; you were so utterly, helpless.

"It must be a curse," Lilia finally declares, pulling away so quickly that it shocks you, "there's no other explanation for your awful state. I wonder who you've upset so to get such a nasty little thing latched onto you..."

"A curse?"

"Mmm," he shakes his head, feigning concern, "I do believe it was that Pomefiore student you were studying with. They're quite good with their curses, aren't they?"

He expects to hear some words of defense, but to his surprise, you're uncharacteristically silent. He wonders if his earlier ministrations scared you after all.

You don't meet his eyes, "Can you remove it?"

Lilia takes a moment to really look at you; weariness set in so deep that you look depleted of any life, voice listless and distant and eyes drawn to the ground. At this rate, you'd hardly be able to get up and get yourself some water.

"Removing it is a simple matter," Lilia reassures you, "but you probably won't be able to take the stress of it. I think you should rest for a little while first. Don't worry," a small spell to put you to sleep is on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be said, but his soft smile gives nothing away, "I'll be right here when you wake up."

all works © wishluc. do not copy, steal or repost my works on other platforms. (including translations)

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hermesserpent-stuff · 2 months ago

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Okay, so, I don't know which AU you'd use this for, but it can go with the new idea you had, or any other you had in mind, but:

I imagine Creed, once Remy gets too hurt or seems too ill or close to death or su*c*de, tears apart who he can, and takes Remy and runs. Remy, dealing with his charm or empathy, and lots of drugs in his system, doesn't really fight it and finds the warmth and fuzzy, loving feeling comforting.

Then Creed hides himself and Remh away, deep in the wild, snowy woods, and more or less tries to keep his kit safe, fed, warm, and happy (or at least relaxed). If his kitten tries to run, he has to bring the drugs back out, and spends those days cuddling his kitten and helping him feel calm and accept his care.

Remy, through all of this, is struggling with accepting all of this care that's so new, or leaving it behind for a life he doesn't know if he'd still have. He doesn't know what to do... and when the sweet milk with honey is pressed into his hands and held to his lips, he can't fight it, all he can do is drink it and feel the hazy, warm daze take over him...

(These two need to talk, maybe form a compromise: Creed is Remy's new papa and will love him and not hurt him, and Remy is his kitten who won't run, but needs to have his cats and be let outside)

(Is Henri in this new au?)

(Also, for some reason I like the idea that Creed just- embraces his role as a dad/Papatooth, and doesn't want to give it up for the world) (well... that's what happens when an empath shows you decency and you can feel what they feel, and now you want them as your son kitten cub kit) (someone find a therapist for them) (and Logan)

I love this!! Definitely putting it in the new one that's now called caged spade au.

I like the idea of negotiating and of Remy having nowhere else to turn and sort of giving in. Especially since creed feels like the lesser of the evils.

He actually really really distrusts people after the capture though his empath powers sort of hurt if he doesn't 'feed' on enough emotions. Creed is almost enough. Almost.

He's gonna flip if Logan shows up. Both are gonna flip tbh.

Also dark thing:

Remy is forced to wear a collar of sorts with a loop in the front for easy chain attachment. Creed likes grabbing him by that front loop and tugging him about when he's being disagreeable.

#tw: suicide mentioned #sabretooth #victor creed #remy lebeau #gambit #hermes speaks #ask hermes #caged spade au

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sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover · 8 months ago

Text

Chris sturniolo fanfiction -first time

Smut 18+ no minors beyond this point thanks .

Word count 2k

Summary -you stay with the triplets as the house is infected with COVID ,while you spend all day every day with your boyfriend and important event happens .

Warnings - smut , mentions of COVID, honest first time experience, mentions of blood,oral sex female recieving, penetrative sex chris X reader.small age gap (20 and reader being 22)

No y/n

Not proof read

If I've misses anything please let me know

Well my trip to see my boyfriend and his brothers didn't go the way we expected .Nick , Chris and Matt went to do their weekly car video and poor nick coughing like no tomorrow I stayed at their house catching up on sleep .I was woken up when they returned at 2:30 am hearing nick telling his younger brothers how bad his throat feels .I hear Chris suggest "why don't you do a COVID test , you know just incase ?" I heard nick snigger with him believing that he couldn't possibly have COVID .

5 minutes later all I heard for a chorus of the 3 of them all saying shit , I jumped to the conclusion that nick had received a positive result ....I knew then that Chris and I would be spending alot of time alone all of a sudden .I was brought of of my sleep daze when my perfect boyfriend walked into the room with a COVID test in his hand , he was surprised to see I was already sat up in bed awaiting for him .

" Bad news nicks got COVID , Matt has tested negative and so have I but we're all going to stay in our rooms to stop it spreading , I'm gonna need you to take a test too .Even if it's positive you can stay with me baby " he said the last part so sweetly knowing i have a fear of sick and illness.

I do the test finishing it with a sneeze as Chris gets ready for bed .We wait 3 minutes to see that I'm negative too , Chris sends a quick message to his brothers telling him the news .

We both settle down in the covers while we put on a film , Chris lets me pick it this time knowing that I will most likely fall asleep early into it meaning he can change it over shortly.I pick the film 'after' , we're half way through the film and as the characters finish at the wedding they return home and begin to have sex with it being the girls first time and the guy having experience .I shift uncomfortably as I imagine myself and Chris being in the same situation with me still being a virgin and Chris having experience.I was very open with him about this when we started dating , he has always been understanding about it and never rushed me .

Chris notices my sudden shift as I press my thighs together, I then start yawning more frequently my sudden awakening earlier now catching up to me ."shall we go sleep now love" I hear Chris whisper to me assuming that his brothers was asleep already ."ye-" I begin to respond yes when I'm cut out by yet another yawn .He laughs at this and begins pulling me into him so I can lay my head on his chest as he aims to hold me until i fall asleep .

We're silent for 5 minutes,I can't get the picture of Chris and I being in the position of the characters out of my head .I assume Chris has fell asleep as I'm caught up in my own thoughts to notice how his soft snores haven't started yet.

"Baby I noticed earlier when the film was on how you was when the sex scene came on, what's on your mind?" His soft voice brought me out of my train of thought.I frozen trying to think quickly of what to say feeling all of a sudden very embarrassed at his mention.I stay silent "it's nothing to be embarrassed about babe just tell me and we can talk it through and see what can be done " he says comfortingly.

I take a deep breath and a quick pause "okay ...well it's been playing on my mind recently ..." He hums in response, I pause again "just say it baby " he whispers as he stroke my hair trying his best to comfort me ."I've been thinking about us having sex , im ready i swear im just scared" i waffle onto him .

He pauses for a second " why didn't you tell me love,we can do it whenever you're ready , I'm going to be honest it's not going to be like the films it could be painful, there could be blood .I've looked it up but it'll be okay baby , I'll make it as comfortable as possible for you baby I swear I'll take care of you "

As each words fall out of his mouth I couldn't fall more in love with him , I have no response to him i just lean up and give him a passionately kiss ."i love you " i whisper to him , he responds with a simple "i love you too " he looks so beautiful as his skin is lightened up by his red led strip lights around his bed .

I decided in that moment that I wanted to be with him , connected to him in anyway I can .I show him this with yet another passionate kiss , "are you sure you want this baby?" He asks concern in his eye."I'm 1000% sure I want to be with you in every way right now " I respond.He shifts from under me leaving with a quick kiss and he goes to the bathroom, he returns with a towel and some little tea lights that he had already lit and had placed on either side of the bed as he lays the towel in the middle of the bed over the sheet and he returns back to the bed I move onto the towel allowing space for Chris to get back on the bed , he kisses me with more passionate as he moves on top of me I naturally open my legs so that they can rest on his hips and he can lay between my legs .

The kissing continues with more passion as I grab at his shirt , he takes my hint and takes it off he quickly returns a quick kiss to my lips .His finger tips brush slightly against my waist just in my shirt ." Take it off ... please" I whisper against his lips .He pulls back and takes my oversized shirt off , I'm left in just my underwear feeling exposed I quickly reach to cover my chest but I'm stopped by Chris's fingers drawing shapes on my hands "don't do that baby , you're beautiful"

He says admiring me .

I remove my hands as he kisses down my neck , he looks up at me quickly " just say the word girly and I'll stop"I nod my head quickly in anticipation on waiting for what is about to happen I've thought about it so much but to actually be in it now feels surreal.

He leaves sweet kissed down my neck and to my breasts , the kisses so light they tickle against my skin .He reaches my nipple and takes it in his mouth as soon as he has it I'm over taken by pleasure I never thought was possible.With his hand massaging my other breast he continues to swap between each breast and nipple .

His free hand subconsciously finds it's way to the hem line of my underwear he feels me tense up lightly surprised by the roughness of his fingers .

"Sorry" he replies quickly , I shake my head ."take them off please" I say to him , he looks me in the eyes looking for a change of my mind .He removes them so quickly and throws them to the floor he looks down "so beautiful" he whispers to himself I blush at his comment.

He starts to kiss down my stomach going over my stomach and kissing my hip bones .I already know that the site of him I'm soaked and by the smile on his face , he knows too .

"Can I " he asks I nod my head in response " I need to hear you use your words princess" he says against my hips."yes" I respond blushing at his new nickname for me .As soon as the word falls out of mouth his mouth is wrapped around my bud and when his mouth isn't sucking on my sensitive nub , his tongue is running up and down my slit collecting any wetness my body has created .Im a moaning mess and glad to know that his brothers bedrooms are on a different level.

After endless minutes of pleasure purely by Chris's mouth he looks at me "I'm gonna use my finger , is that okay baby" he asks I return a breathy "yes" in response.Again as soon as the word falls out of my my his pushes one of his slender fingers into my heat , he continues thrusting his digit into me and the slight uncomfortable feeling is overwhelmed by the immense pleasure I feel building in my stomach and his tongue works just as fast in my clothes as his finger is with my heat .

I pull his hair and feel him moan against my heat cause my orgasm to rip through my body I'm a moaning , shaking mess and Chris continues to ride me through my orgasm .I open my eyes to see him hovering over me ,his lips wet with what's left over of my orgasm.

I noticed the tent that's in his boxers nerves and excitement ripping through my body just like the orgasm beforehand .I reach down to pull them down and his size springs up and slaps him on his stomach ."are you ready baby you can still say no" he says concern evident in his voice ."yes im ready" I whisper with a kiss he quickly leans over to open a condom wrapper .The more I look at his member the bigger it seems to grow by the second , he rolls it down his cock and lines it up with my entrance .With one look again to ask consent i nod my head and rest my hands on his broad shoulders .

As soon as he pushes in the instance stretch and pain shoots through me , my grip tightens on his shoulders and my eyes closed with my face contorting in pain ."breathe through it baby just breathe" he kisses my lips so sweetly until I nod to him so he can move , he starting thrusting in and out of me as the pain quickly becomes pleasure im moaning into Chris's mouth and he does the same to me .In minutes he's thrusting into me at a inhumane speed , he quickly rubs circles on my clit .His lips so close to mine he moans "cum for me baby , on 3 we cum together" he suggest to me , I nod my head .

"1.......2........3" he whispers and we're both moaning messes and I fell myself come undone yet again around his cock and I feel him filling up the condom inside of me .We both open our eyes , still connected and he kisses me as he pulls out leaving me wincing at the slight pain it causes.

We spend minutes naked , catching our breath in comfortable silence ."we should go and cleaned up baby" he breaks the silence as he takes the condom off and places it in the bin .

He picks me up bridal style , both naked and carries me to his bathroom.He leaves me to go toilet and the instant burn is beyond uncomfortable, he returns back with a pair of his jogging bottoms and a sports bra of mine , he brings me fresh underwear and pulls out a sanitary pad .

He hands it to me getting down to my eye level " how you feeling baby" he asks "sore I say but so happy , what's that for" I ask nodding to the pad ." You bleed abit babe" he says with sorry in his eyes .I go red in embarrassment " it's perfectly normal baby just pop this on and we can go cuddle and sleep " I obliged and once I'm done he carries me again bridal style back to bed .

We get comfy again "I'm so proud of you baby , I love you so much" he whispers to me as I drift to sleep in his hair .

This took forever guys but I hope you like it , please like comment and follow if you can

Xoxo hj

#chris sturniolo #fanfiction #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #mattsturniolo #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine

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kpop-stories-21 · 1 year ago

Text

A Boyfriend For Christmas

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: Han x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Rating: 18-21+

Genres, Tropes, & AUs: Non-Idol AU, College AU, Romance AU, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Smut

Content & Trigger Warnings: Barista!Han, Student!Reader, strong language, unprotected sex(wrap that shit up kids), manhandling, oral sex(f receiving), edging, slight degradation, slight dumbification, intense orgasm, aftercare, after-sex cuddles

Summary: Telling your parents you had a boyfriend always kept them off your back about settling down. Now that they're coming up for Christmas your lie is about to be exposed. Luckily, Fate takes pity on you and has you running into a cute barista who captures your heart.

Tags: @kpop---scenarios @stardragongalaxy @jeonrose @skittlez-area512 @mybiasisexo @biaswreckingfics @anyamaris @trashlord-007 @liliesofdreams @rdiamond2727 @naturalogre @millennial-fangirl @twisted-tales-of-all @yoonguurt @staytinyville @dimpledsatan @kwanisms SKZ Tags: @lovelyhange

If you want to be added to my taglist, click here

Network pings: @kdiarynet | @cultofdionysusnet

Collab Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Yes, Mom, I'm doing fine.” You sighed into the phone, rolling your eyes at her ill-founded concern.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me young lady.” Your mother scolded. “I’m just looking out for your wellbeing.”

“I know Mom, I know.” You admitted grudgingly. “Anyway, before you ask, my studies are going fine as well.”

“Good! Just remember, if at any point you want to change your major, you can go to your father’s friend Mr. Kim.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” You said, knowing full well that you never would.

Just then your roommate Karina poked her head in and eyed you expectantly. You nodded in acknowledgement and began to end the call with your mother.

“I gotta go now Mom.”

“Okay sweetie. I’ll call back soon, I want to hear more about this new boyfriend of yours!”

Once you hung up, Karina stepped into your room.

“Still stalling her with the new boyfriend bit?” She inquired.

You nodded. “They haven’t questioned it so far.”

“Are they still planning to come up for Christmas?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

“So you have until then to find a guy?”

You frowned. “It’s either that or admit I’ve been lying, and that will not go over well.”

“Well, I wish you luck.” She said warmly. “I’m getting ready to head back home, you sure you’ll be alright staying here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine Rina.” You say with a grin. “I can take care of myself.”

“Of that, I have no doubt.” Karina teased.

You laughed and chucked a pillow at her. “You better get going before your mom assumes you missing and calls the army.”

“Okay, Y/N! See you next year!”

After Karina left you fell into the same routine you always did, spending most of the day in the dorm room except for the few times you went outside to get coffee or takeout. A few weeks passed, and then came the dreaded call from your mother, announcing that she and your father would be coming up soon to spend Christmas with you.

Panic began to set in, and as you walked to the corner coffee shop one morning you wondered if you should maybe download Tinder or some other dating app. You were so lost in thought you failed to see the figure right in front of you until it was too late and you found yourself tumbling to the concrete, limbs tangled with those of whoever you had crashed into.

Looking up, you found yourself inches away from the most gorgeous man you'd ever seen. Eyes wide, the two of you just stared at each other for several moments until he finally snapped out of his daze and stood, brushing himself off before offering his hand. You took it and he gently pulled you to your feet.

“I am so, so sorry “ He began, remorse clear on his face. “I have a terrible habit of not watching where I'm going.”

You smiled comfortingly. “No, no, the fault is mine. My mind was elsewhere and I didn't even see you until we collided. It's me who should be apologising.”

He chuckled lightly. “Alright then. I happen to work at a coffee shop nearby, can I at least buy you a coffee or something to make it up to you?”

You needed no hesitation to answer his question. “You had me at coffee! I was heading to my favourite coffee shop anyway.”

“Perfect!” He exclaimed, smiling so widely his eyes disappeared.

“My name's Han Jisung, by the way. Most people just call me Han because they know at least one other Jisung.”

You grinned. “I'm Park Y/N and I happen to fall into that category as well! Nice to meet you, Han.”

As you walked you fell into a comfortable conversation with Han. He was easy to talk to, listening intently while also inserting little jokes and puns at the most opportune moments. Before you knew it the two of you were standing in front of the very coffee shop you’d been heading to before you ran into Han.

You were surprised, sure that you would have remembered seeing him there before. “You work here?!” You exclaimed. “I come here all the time, how come I’ve never seen you before?”

Han grinned. “I’ve only been here about a week, I’m kinda new in town.”

You nodded understandingly. “Ah, that would explain it.”

Han opened the door for you, making you blush a bit as you walked in. You’d been here enough times that you knew all the staff by name and considered them friends, so you received several greetings as Han stepped in behind you.

“Hey Han, you’re a bit early today.” Felix called out, blond hair in its usual ponytail.

“Yeah, me and Y/N here had a bit of a collision so I said I’d buy her a coffee to make up for it.”

Minho smirked mischievously. “Well I’m surprised she didn’t kiss you for that, Y/N-ah really loves her coffee.”

You glared at the brunette playfully. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Min.”

“I thought it was quite funny.” Black-haired Hyunjin quipped as he walked by.

You stuck your tongue out at him and he returned the gesture, stopping only when Jeongin started to complain about how grossed-out he was.

After ordering your coffee you sat down in a corner booth, watching fondly as they all teased poor Han about being perfect “boyfriend material” for you. Once they’d left him alone he came to join you, conversation picking right back up like nothing had ever happened.

Students and other people came in and out, oblivious as you talked with Han until his shift started. By the time you decided you should leave, the sun was already starting to set. You gaped at the time on your phone, shocked that you’d been out all day. Gathering your things you bid farewell to Han and your friends, and hurried back to your dorm.

Once back inside, you pondered your encounter with Han. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him extremely good-looking, and you were secretly hoping he’d feel the same. You’d never really believed in love at first sight, but there was no denying the instant attraction you felt when you made eye contact with him. It was worth pursuing at least, especially with your parents’ visit looming ever closer.

By the end of the following week you had exchanged numbers with Han, and hope was growing within you that maybe he felt something for you too. Having a boyfriend in time for your parents’ arrival was the last thought on your mind now, 90% of your brain was taken up with Han and how you felt about him.

One day you woke up feeling rather bold, and decided to just get it over with. Shooting him a quick text revealed he was free, and so you asked him to meet you at the wishing fountain near the coffee shop. He arrived there mere seconds after you did, curiosity written all over his face.

“Hey Y/N! Your text seemed kind of urgent, is everything okay?”

You nodded briefly. “Yeah, mostly. However, there is something I wanted to ask you.”

“Oh? Ask away then.”

Taking a deep breath, you blurted it out before you lost your nerve. “I really like you and I was wondering if it was at all possible that you like me too.”

Something akin to relief flashed across Han’s features, then he took your hands in his and held them tight. “I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you this very same question, but it seems you’ve beaten me to it.” Looking you right in the eyes he added, “Yes, I like you Y/N; so, so much. From the very moment we ran into each other you have been almost the only thing I’ve thought about.”

You blushed, feeling suddenly like a teenager speaking with her crush. “I’ve been the same way.” You admitted, which made Han smile brightly.

Leaning forward a little you caught his eyes and asked softly, “Can you kiss me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He remarked cheekily.

You smacked his arm playfully and he chuckled, pulling you close and covered your lips with his own. Fireworks exploded behind your closed eyes as your heart rate picked up, and you gripped his shoulders in an effort to ground yourself.

You parted after a moment, both of you breathing a little harder.

“That was…breathtaking.” Han murmured, hands coming up to gently cup your face.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” You replied with a smile.

After that the rest of the week became a bit of a blur, most of your time spent either with Han or packing for the trip to the family cabin where you’d spend Christmas with your parents. You’d expected Han to go back and spend the holidays with his own family, but he insisted they wouldn’t mind if he went with you this time. So you soon found yourself driving those all-too-familiar roads while Han sat in the passenger seat and kept you company.

Upon arriving at the family cabin, you were surprised to find that your parents weren’t already there. Usually they would get there early to make sure the place was nice and cosy by the time you arrived, but this time they were nowhere in sight. Once you and Han carried all the luggage in you checked the answering machine to see if your parents had left a message. They had, and you played it immediately.

“Y/N sweetie, it’s your mother. We had a bit of an accident on the way here so we’re laid over for a few days until we can get the car repaired. Don’t worry about us, we’re both fine. You just have fun with your boyfriend and we’ll see you in a couple days!”

You turned off the machine and looked at Han. “Well, looks like we have the place to ourselves for a few days. What should we do?”

Han thought for a few minutes, then said “I have a few ideas, but they’ll all have to wait until the morning.”

You glanced at the time. “It is pretty late, I’ll fix us something for dinner and we can start our adventure in the morning.”

Han agreed to this and you set about fixing a quick meal of bibimbap, which he declared was the best he’d ever had. The two of you washed the dishes together, then retired to your room, where you unpacked and got ready for bed.

When you woke up in the morning it was freezing. Confused and more than a little concerned, you woke Han and together you made your way to the living room to look out the big picture window. To your utter chagrin, you saw that there’d been a massive snowstorm overnight and there was a thick layer of the stuff that reached halfway up said window.

“Seems we’re snowed in for the foreseeable future.” You grumbled, rubbing your arms vigorously to keep them warm.

“Hey, it’s not all bad.” Han stated as he came up behind you, engulfing you in his warmth as he wrapped his arms around you. “I can think of a few things we can still do.”

You looked up at him, curious. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like…make breakfast together.”

You giggled and let him pull you towards the kitchen. “That sounds like a good place to start.”

Han, as it turned out, should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen; a fact you only discovered after he put too much molasses in the cookies, dropped the jar trying to put some back, slipped on the sticky floor and pulled you down with him as the bowl of dry ingredients was dumped all over the both of you.

Sitting on the floor covered in multiple white powders with several sticky patches all over, you turned to a sheepish Han and gave him a playful glare. “You are banished forthwith from the kitchen, under pain of death.”

Han rubbed his neck, embarrassed. Then a look full of mischief came onto his face and he yanked his shirt off in one smooth motion, reaching over to do the same with yours. Before you could react or even open your mouth to complain, he had snatched you up and tossed you over his shoulder, all but running to your shared bedroom. You were dumped unceremoniously onto the slightly cool duvet, goosebumps popping up all over your skin at the contrast in temperature.

Looking up revealed Han hovering over you, eyes dark as he gazed down at you. A shock of arousal raced to your core, and you returned his gaze with rapidly growing want while quickly shucking off your sweatpants.

“You look so pretty laid out like this, baby.” He rasped, running his hands over the blue lace of your bra and panties.

“Wore them just for you.” You breathed, feeling your body heat up even more as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your panties. “They’re an early C-Christmas present.”

“How thoughtful of you, baby. Now you just lay back and let me unwrap my present.”

The panties came off in one swift yank; then he hooked your legs over his shoulders and slid his tongue into your wet folds, eating you out like a man starved.

“Oh G-God, feels s-so good Han, please don't stop!”

His nose pressed against your clit as he continued his ministrations, bringing you to the edge three or four times but never letting you cum.

You were an overstimulated mess by this point, pitifully begging for your orgasm as if your life depended on it.

“Look at you baby, already going dumb and I haven't even fucked you yet. If you hold it till I finish, then I'll let you cum. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, I can do it, I promise. Just please, please fuck me!” You babbled, mind blank aside from the overwhelming need for release.

“As you wish, my love.” He replied, making short work of his own pants and underwear before hovering over you once more, filling you to the hilt in one quick thrust that punched a sob of pure pleasure from your lungs, fingers wrapping the duvet in a death grip as you fought to hold back your orgasm.

Han set a rough pace, pounding into you with an urgency that belied his own imminent high. The sounds of squelching and slapping skin filled the room, the air permeated with the smell of sex and sweat. It made for a heady mixture of sensations that had your eyes rolling back as his thrusts grew faster, until finally he slammed into you one final time. Lips brushed your ear as he spoke the words you'd been waiting for: “Come for me baby.”

You let go, the world washing white as your limbs went stiff and liquid bliss flooded your veins, a hoarse scream ripping from your throat as your climax crashed over you. After a few moments that felt like forever, you began to come down, the white quickly replaced with black as you fully passed out.

You came to and found Han cleaning both of you as well as the duvet, a relieved smile appearing when he saw that you were awake. “Hey baby.” He murmured, kissing your forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Like I've been fucked into next year.” You whispered, voice almost completely gone. Han chuckled and pulled you under the duvet with him, wrapping around you to help keep you warm.

“Merry Christmas, my sweet Y/N.” He breathed, caressing your cheek.

“Merry Christmas to you too, my handsome Hannie.”

#cultofdionysusnet #fanfic #16 days of smutmas 2023 #MochaMadness:ThePerfectPair23 #kdiarynet #sandsofirenet #stray kids #han x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids han #han smut #han fluff #maturefanfic #18-21+#au

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eldritch-spouse · 1 year ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/731467868294840320/while-belo-is-going-through-a-heat-ill-play-this?source=share

What if we acted like we didn't notice Belo was in heat? We just think it's a common cold or something, cause he's an angel after all, he cannot possibly have such impure thoughts and intentions right?

You can't pretend it's a common cold when Belo's standing and swaying by the doorway with a twitching cock under his suit that just so happens to stir whenever one of his eyes glances at you. You're not fooling anyone.

Though perhaps it's good for his ego that you're pretending. Because then Belo can (poorly) play along and affirm that there's absolutely nothing wrong with him, even as he sweats up a storm and can't help the sporadic cooing. He's more than fine!

And he suffers. Because if the power can avoid revealing to you that angels have heats, he will for as long as possible. Spending his days in a frustrated daze, cock so hard and mind so fried by thoughts of plowing you wherever you stand/sit that he sometimes isn't even able to coherently answer you.

Belo spends any moment he can apart from you trying desperately to relieve himself, and he regrets to admit that he'll sometimes resort to the items he stole from you, held securely in the shrine. It's lowly of him to use such treasured possessions as masturbatory fodder, it's disrespectful, but the angel knows that it's either that or he'll do something unforgivable around you otherwise. And he can't let that happen.

For as much care as Belo tries to take when handling all of this, hormones are oftentimes too demanding to allow him to logic things out. Which then leads to him trying to gently grind on you while you sleep, oh so desperate to muffle his noises as his hips slot deliciously against your plump ass.

And yet, the chances of you waking up with him looming over you, the bed rocking as he pumps and whispers pleas for forgiveness before choking when he cums, are pretty high.

#Belo oc

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i-need-entertainment · 2 years ago

Note

If you have time, a Muichirou friendship fic/hc with a demon slayer who's a bit like him after training making difficult origamis, talking about their crows and how older hashiras/demon slayer look down at them maybe

If you were ok with writing it take your time please ♡

Hi! Sorry this took me so long😭 I really like this prompt, especially since Muichiro is my favorite :p I hope this is okay- I went with a blend of hc's/drabble!

Character: Muichiro x fellow hashira reader (Platonic)

Warnings: none!

Despite you two being more independent and both having tendencies to keep to yourselves, the two of you becoming friends was no real surprise.

Because of your closeness in age and similarity in personality & fighting style, you and Muichiro got paired up for missions a lot.

In the beginning your shared missions were quiet, with only the occasional question (usually from him being a little lost) or comment filling the silence.

But as the months went by the two of you developed an unlikely, but fairly close friendship.

Besides the similarities in character you both got along for another reason- your age.

More specifically how you were occasionally treated by the other hashira/demon slayers because of your unusually young ages.

When it came from fellow hashira you both knew it never came from a bad place- usually it was an ill-stated comment from tengen, or an unfiltered observation of Rengoku's; but you knew they meant no harm (even if it could get a little frustrating).

But when it came from other slayers who were lower ranking than you were? That was another story.

"I'm telling you Muichiro- one of these days i'm gonna.." Your voice filtered off as you focused your frustration into folding the origami you were currently working on. Snapping out of his daze Muichiro hummed, "What?" Most were intimidated by his blunt-typically one worded replies, but after months of friendship they didn't bother you in the slightest.

"Make a scene that's what." He hummed in understanding- even if he didn't really understand, your clipped tone told him all he needed to know. Besides the fact that you regularly told him of your less-than lovely interactions with the older slayers, he himself had experienced his fair share with them.

The older members of the corps could be arrogant, rude, and downright stubborn when it came to the young hashiras. Even some of the "older" hashira, like Tomioka and Shinobu, had faced similar comments from that specific group. And despite having proved yourselves time and time again it seemed like their egos prevented them from taking a step back and admiring your strength and maturity for your age as opposed to in spite of it.

Did their comments or attitudes in any way deter you from continuing on as a fantastic slayer and hashira? Absolutely not- they were irritating sure, but at the end of the day you're the ones with pillar titles and engravings on your katanas, not them.

Sighing you shook your head as you set the completed origami in your basket. You took a moment to breathe in the spring air and you relished in the feeling of the cool breeze softly flowing by. When you two weren't training or out on missions, the two of you enjoyed spending time outside doing origami. He'd listen as you talked about missions, or something you heard about in town, or whatever it was you brought to the table that day.

You started most all of the conversations but they weren't one sided- he did listen, and he tried to remember important details though you never seemed to mind when he forgot things. You understood him, and he appreciated it. In return he tried to understand you too.

"Oh! How's Ginko doing?" Muichiro looked up to the sky, "She's good...a little loud but that's how she is..what about Tenko?" You smiled as you told him about your recent adventure with your crow (who much like Muichiro's, likes to cause drama).

From the outside looking in your friendship with the mist hashira was strange, but to the two of you? It was a safe haven, free from the stresses of the adult world, and a place where the both of you could be yourselves.

Again, I am so SO sorry it took me so long!! I hope this was okay, and I cannot express how grateful I am for your request and for your patience! Take care of yourself and have a lovely rest of your day/evening anon!

#muichiro x reader #muichiro tokito #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer headcanons

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growingstories · 1 year ago

Text

A royal affair - prequel

In the first part of “A royal affair” King Carlos was a 45 years old handsome King and Mendoza 45 years old Cardinal. This part is 25 years prior to it.

Felipe Mendoza was the son of a very known noble family in Spain. They ruled over many parts of the country and where courtiers of the royal family for many centuries back. They were very well respected and seen on every aristocratic event.

King Carlos and Felipe Mendoza were friends since childhood and were still very close. They partied together in Madrid and all the mondaine parts of the country. It was Felipe that sneaked then, Prince, Carlos away from the palace to party anonymous. They often had sex with two girls at the same time. They knew everything about each other and shared all their secrets. Carlos often switched to sex with guys too and Felipe didn’t mind as long as he had his fun with a girl in the room too. Both guys were extremely handsome and had no problem hooking up.

When Carlos turned 25 he had a big celebration. All the noble families were invited. It was very lavish and that is where Carlos’ dream came true. Felipe was so drunk and horny that he forgot about his girls and joined a threesome with Carlos. They continued to have intimate nights together more often until Felipe’s family introduced a noble lady to Felipe to propose and get married to. Felipe thought it was time to settle down and start a family. When he told his plans to Carlos Carlos got furious and walked away. They didn’t talk for four weeks. Until Carlos got the message that his father the King turned very ill and was about to die. When Felipe heard about this he rushed to the palace to support his friend. That night the King died and Carlos became the new King.

He had to create a new group of advisors and trustees. He asked Felipe to become a close advisor and offered a Cardinalship to Felipe. This was the most honorable position for a noble family and Felipe couldn’t deny this. That meant also that Felipe didn’t have to get married and instead the noble girls was presented to Felipe’s younger brother.

The coronation would be organized the next year so Felipe could study to become a well respected Catholic cardinal. And so it happened, Cardinal Felipe Mendoza had the honors to crown Carlos King of Spain. The celebrations lasted for 3 days and from all over the world people came to pay there respect. Felipe and Carlos spend those three days nights together. The private chambers of the king had an endless supply of champagne and lavish food and Carlos was eager to share it with his lover.

The months flew by as a daze and the new King was touring through all the Spanish parts of the world where they were greeted with open arms and grand celebrations. The cardinal accompanied him everywhere. They couldn’t spend the nights together anymore with so many strange people around. instead the King had late night intimate dinners for small groups of people including the Cardinal. He made sure everyone ate well. But the Cardinal was getting more and more frustrated. He couldn’t have sex with girls any longer and also the King didn’t have sex anymore. Instead he turned into eating. Nights after night he ate without stopping. The moments when he was together with his King were skares but the sexual tension was intense. They would make walks and kiss behind walls. But that is. Back in his chambers the Cardinal ate all the snacks to compensate the sexual frustration.

After a year they returned back to the palace in Madrid where the Cardinal had his private chambers. The Cardinal also needed a new wardrobe as all his robes started to strain over his growing belly.

The King was pressured by the government to get married and produce and heir. Within a month he was introduced to an Austrian Princess and proposed right away. The got married after 3 months and 9 months later they produced an heir. During the pregnancy the King went on many nightly walks with the cardinal where they often kissed in the palace gardens. Back in his chambers the Cardinal kept eating his frustrations. After the birth there were many celebrations and the King sneaked into the Cardinals chambers where they shared another passionate night like they used to.

The Cardinal was invited to many other events of respected families. The food and alcohol was flowing generously and the Cardinal was eagerly consuming it. He got bigger and bigger over the months but didnt mind. Nobody dared to say anything to someone with his status.

After a year the King and Queen welcomed their second son. And again there were grand celebrations and the palace and the King sneaked into the Cardinals chambers again. He was surprised to see how big the Cardinal had gotten but didnt mind as he loved his lover anyways.

After another nightly walk during the goodbye kiss one of servants ran into them. They were caught redhanded. In return of his silence the servant got a big promotion and a som of money. Nevertheless the court started gossiping. When the Cardinal heard the rumours he decided to spend less time in the palace and more with the people. The King summoned him after a month and served a big dinner for the Cardinal and a few young courtiers. The Cardinal had became a big eater so he easily devoured the endless flow of food. Before dessert the King invited a young noble guy for a walk. The Cardinal understood what was happening and got jealous and started drinking huge amounts of Champagne and eating from the cheese buffet.

When the King came back with the young guy the dessert was served. A massive buffet of all sorts of sweets. When the Cardinal wanted to call it a night the King ordered the servants to offer the cardinal a big plate of all the desserts. He told the Cardinal and the courtiers that the night ends when the King says so.

When the Cardinal couldn't move of fullness he was excused. When a got in his chambers the King sneaked in and they had an intimate night. This became a monthly routine.

During the other weeks the Cardinal was invited to every event the nobility organized and he was happy to join. The food, the alcohol, the attention, he loved it. Now that the rumour of the Cardinal and the King was going around, he got a lot of male attention. Guys felt save around him and often sent him gifts to fall in favour with him. The Cardinal was happy to receive the gifts and often invited young handsome rich guys over for a private audience.

As the months passed the Cardinal got really fat. His belly bulged out in front of him and rested in his lap when seated. It didnt stop him from eating. People made sure to have huge amounts of food when the Cardinal got over. But they did because being friendly with the cardinal meant nice political jobs and power.

As the years flew by the Cardinal graduataly got fatter. It was tough for him to get around. As am out of shape 45 years old. As his weight was so high. But he loved the attention and power that came with the job. One night he met the young bull fighter. He saw a small belly forming and realized that the bull fighter was the Kings next victim. One moment when they were together he warned the young bull fighter not to fall for it or he would have the same shape as himself. But the Cardinal realized it probably was too late. He just piled extra dessert on his plate and happily overate himself again.

#fictionalweightgain #maleweightgain #maleweightgainstories #weightgain #weightgainstories #fictionalstories #wg fantasy #wg fiction #exjock #aiweightgain

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melodygatesauthor · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 7: The Goldfish Problem

prof!Steven Grant-Jake Lockley-Marc Spector X f!Reader

Edited by: @welcometostayingawake (she's the real MVP)

Mood Boards - Book Cover - Masterlist

Chapter Summary:

Steven asks you for a big favor. You get stuck in a snow storm.

Tags/Summary (these are for the ENTIRE fic):

college AU, no powers/not in MCU/no Khonshu, talk of mental illness, Marc has DID, forbidden relationship, age gap, reader is 21y/o, Boys are 38y/o, reader attends college in America but isn't necessarily American, smut, sex, masturbation, p in v, creampies galore, reader is on birth control, dubious consent due to identity issues, ANGST, romance, fluff and smut, oral sex, falling in love, reader is not race coded.

Word Count: 6k

School had quickly become a daze, just an interruption in between the time you got to spend with Steven. You went to his office nearly every free moment you could spare during the week following your date. Sometimes you were straddled over him with his cock slick between your folds, gliding over your entrance without ever feeling the satisfaction of penetration. Other times you were spread out on his desk while he mouthed at your cunt, slurping your juices like he might die of thirst.

He surprised you on Wednesday night though when he had a small sheet of paper to hand to you, along with a key. You looked at the paper, it was titled, How To Care for Gus the Goldfish. You looked at Steven, puzzled. Normally, the moment you walked into his office he was running his hands all over you like you might evaporate if he didn’t touch you.

“What’s this?”

“Thought I might ask if you can do me a favor?” He raised his brows, his big brown eyes pleading with you.

“I mean, of course I’ll help you, but what exactly…are you going somewhere?” You felt a pang in your chest. The idea of Steven leaving was upsetting.

“Oh, darling, I can see you’re upset, but I promise I won’t be gone long.” He walked closer to you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “It’s a weekend seminar for some of the departmental staff and I’ve been invited. Thought it would be good f’me to go.”

“So you need me to…watch your goldfish?” You held up the note, “and you needed to write me a note on how to take care of him?”

“It’s not that I think you can’t handle it, it’s just…erm, well, he’s all I’ve got.”

If Steven could get any more precious, you weren’t sure you’d feel comfortable doing all the depraved things you normally came to his office to do. You gave him a smile for reassurance before looking up to kiss him, hoping that would somehow make him feel more secure in your ability to care for his goldfish.

“I’ll take good care of him, but uh, where’s your apartment? You don’t want to show it to me before you go?”

“S’not a good idea, to have you go there with me. Too risky.” He shook his head before pointing at the paper in your hand, “the address is on there.”

You gulped, wondering why he wouldn’t want to be there at the same time as you. Tampering down the negative feelings, you tried to think about the fact that he entrusted you with this task, and not Jane. The note was simple, to feed Gus three times a day, with instructions on where his food was kept and an emergency vet number. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. You put the paper and key in your school bag and then turned back to Steven.

“I’ll take care of him, no problem.” You agreed enthusiastically.

Steven wasted no more time with pleasantries. You often watched his demeanor shift from timid to dark and aroused the moment before he scooped you in for passionate kisses. In a matter of moments, you were stroking his cock while he fingered you once again, both chasing your release at the hand of the other.

He loved making you squirm, watching your parted lips glistening while you moaned under his touch. He relished the way your walls squeezed the life out of his finger when you reached your orgasm. Steven was mesmerized by the way you tasted, too, taking that same finger and cleaning it with his tongue.

Steven had taken to walking you home that night. It was chilly, and he held your hand to help keep you warm. It was late enough that you were sure you wouldn’t run into another student. He didn’t dare to kiss you though, the thought of it was too risky, and he had to be cautious.

When you got to your room, Layla was still up. The clock read 9:05pm. You dropped your bag on the floor and groaned before plopping down on your bed.

“Steven keeps you out late for tutoring, huh?” She asked.

“Yeah, he really wants to make sure I grasp the material.”

You realized when she said that, that you didn’t really learn much of anything from his tutoring. It had turned into an excuse for the two of you to continue your secret affair, barely touching your textbooks in his presence.

“A few friends and I are all going out this weekend, wanna come?” She asked, turning out the light.

The lie rolled off the tip of your tongue, as if you’d been planning this for ages.

“I can’t, my cousin is coming to visit and I promised I’d stay with her for the weekend.”

It was quiet for a moment. You wondered if she was going to question the truth about what you’d said, but she had no reason to.

“Alright, well if you decide you wanna come, she can come, too. Open invite.” Layla was silent after that, and so were you.

----

On Friday evening, you were standing outside of Steven’s apartment door, twisting the deadbolt before hearing the latch come undone. There was something nerve wracking about walking into his apartment without him there. It would be so tempting to go through all of his things and learn as much about him as you could, but you felt a sense of guilt. It wasn’t right to go through someone else’s things, even if you were certain there was no way he would know.

You opened the door and stepped inside, being met with the smell of old books and a hint of chai right off the bat. It was a smell you enjoyed, a relaxing and warming scent. Looking around you could easily see the source from the copious amounts of books lining the several bookshelves throughout Steven’s lofty apartment.

You were in complete awe at the sheer amount of stuff Steven owned. His apartment wasn’t dirty, he seemed to pick up after himself, but there was clutter all over. It was obvious that he’d tried to tidy a little bit though, judging from the fresh smell of linen hidden beneath the scent of the books.

Steven’s apartment was roughly a thirty minute walk from your dorm, so you didn’t want to take too long there, but your curiosity was piqued. You decided to start poking through Steven’s things. Despite it being a major invasion of privacy, you couldn’t help yourself.

----

Steven was just getting out of his car around the time he assumed you’d be arriving at his apartment. He realized he should’ve exchanged numbers with you before leaving for the weekend, but he still felt nervous about intertwining your lives a little too much. There was no way for you to contact him though if there were some kind of emergency.

“It’s a damn goldfish, what kind of emergency are we talking about? You not taking her number is the smartest thing you’ve done so far.”

Steven had been ignoring Marc and his commentary for days, but that didn’t stop him from constantly leaving his two cents whenever he had the opportunity. He went to the front desk of the hotel where the seminar was taking place, quickly retrieving his key and making his way up to his room.

It was quiet in there, but it felt bare, not at all like what he was used to at home. He turned on the television; it was already playing the weather channel which he let lull in the background as he began to unpack.

“What was supposed to be a sunny weekend is unfortunately going to turn into a nor’easter. The storm changed course unexpectedly so New England will in fact be seeing over a foot of snow, beginning early tomorrow morning and throughout the weekend.”

Steven immediately thought of you and wondered how you were going to get from your dorm all the way to his home in the midst of a snow storm. Surely, you wouldn’t. This would’ve been the perfect time to have your number to check up on you. If there was ever a goldfish emergency, this was it.

----

You felt like a creep, going through Steven’s things, but you were so, so curious to know what you’d be able to find out about him. Of course, he had an insurmountable collection of books scattered throughout the apartment. Every open bookshelf was stacked full with more than just paperbacks. He had knick knacks, paperweights and other odds and ends.

Your eyes were soon drawn to the bed. For a moment you thought about yourself, a wet and gasping mess at the large hands of Steven, gripping his sheets while he defiled you. On your way to the bed, you noticed the closet, his signature patterned shirts half visible. If Steven was hiding something, surely he would keep it in there.

His clothes were both plain, and too much all at once. Some of the patterns were a downright eyesore and you wondered what it was he saw in those clothes, but you also found it a little cute that he liked to express himself with patterns like that. A hat caught your eye, peeking out under a white button-down tucked in the corner of the closet. You’d never seen Steven wear a hat, nevermind a paperboy cap, you knelt to it curiously. It was black and looked hardly worn. When you picked it up you noticed a couple of leather gloves underneath. You supposed Steven must wear the hat and gloves when it got exceptionally cold.

Other than some jackets that you’d never seen him wear before, and an array of button-downs and ties, Steven’s closet was…boring. You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find in there when you walked in, but everyone had secrets. Maybe Steven was just a normal college professor.

You spent far too long in there, checking out some of the other things Steven’s apartment had to offer, and then finally feeding the goldfish like you were supposed to. When you looked outside, you noticed that it had snowed quite a bit since you arrived.

“Shit.”

It was going to be too cold to walk back yet, and the sidewalk would be covered in snow until the plow came through. Not to mention, you weren’t exactly dressed for snow. You looked over at the fish tank.

“Well Gus, looks like you and I are going to have a little sleepover.” You smirked at him, as though he could understand you.

----

Steven was breaking out into a sweat over the thought that he might be coming home to a dead goldfish, and the fact that you would probably blame yourself. He didn’t blame you, not one bit, but he felt the need to pack his things and go home. The seminar wasn’t mandatory, and in fact, they had already told people that they could go home and attend the seminar virtually due to the weather. It was only going to get worse as the night went on.

He’d made up his mind, he was going back home.

“Let me drive amigo, the weather is horrible.” Jake insisted.

“No, nope I’m not doing that.” Steven said, getting into the car and slamming the door.

“Steven, let him drive. Are you trying to get us killed? I mean honestly,” Marc chimed in.

Steven ignored them, and shortly found himself white knuckling his steering wheel, driving toward the apartment. It was a two hour drive in normal conditions, so in the snow it would probably take a couple more. He only hoped that Gus wasn’t too hungry by the time he got there.

----

You’d been scrolling through your phone for long enough and decided to find something comfortable to wear to bed. Out of Steven’s array of clothes, you found a comfortable dark blue long sleeve to slide on. It was long enough that it hung to your mid-thigh and still smelled like him. You resolved to make the bed in the morning and hoped he wouldn’t notice that you’d slept over.

You didn’t always read yourself to sleep, but you did that night, opting to peruse his collection. Steven had so many books, you thought you should at least take advantage of his library. While you knew you should read something new, you couldn’t help yourself from gravitating toward Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. It was your favorite, and you were feeling like a familiar story would be comforting in that moment.

It was around 2am when Steven arrived at his apartment. Immediately, he sensed something was off when he was able to open the door without the deadbolt’s resistance. He stepped inside, eyes darting instantly to the tank where he saw Gus swimming around happily, the fish’s food moved from its original spot. Steven put his bags down gently, taking in the rest of the apartment before his eyes finally landed on you.

You were sleeping, in his bed, in his shirt, with his book spread across your chest. His hand reached up and pressed to his chest. You’d, once again, taken his breath away.

“Steven…” Marc said, like a muffled man calling from a distance, his voice sounding like a warning.

Steven shut him out, too focused on the beautiful display in front of him. He took a step forward, trying carefully not to wake you. The clumsy man was successful up until his foot hit a pile of books and they knocked over onto the floor.

You startled awake, jumping up to shockingly see Steven standing in front of you. The fog of sleep dissipated and you realized how embarrassing your situation was. You were in your underwear, in Steven’s shirt, in his bed, reading his book.

Oh no, you thought. Now you look like you’re obsessed with him.

You assumed he must be upset with you, this wasn’t part of the instructions he had given you. You were supposed to be gone by the time he came back.

“Steven I’m so sorry, I got here and there was snow and…I didn’t mean to…” You were trying to come up with some kind of excuse to explain why you were in his clothes and bed..

Steven didn’t care. He didn’t care in the slightest. His cock was already slowly growing, pressing against the confines of his pants in desperation. Your hair was a mess, face full of worry, and you were wearing his shirt. He was zoned out again, and you had been muttering and crawling out of the bed to collect your things, fumbling over your own tired feet.

“Love…” He said softly.

“-and I thought you were going to be gone so I was going to put everything back the way I found it before-”

“Love.” Steven said again while you continued collecting your things.

“-I just wanted to wear something comfy, I didn’t have anything else to wear. I’m really trying to help keep this on the down low, and I know you don’t want us to be here together.” You had your clothes in your arms and started walking toward the exit but Steven rushed to stand in front of you and grabbed your shoulders.

You dropped the clothes into a heap on the floor.

“Darling, to have you here…lookin’ like that I…I’m thrilled.”

He brought you in for a deep and mind-numbing kiss and you quickly brought your hands up to tangle between his locks. Steven lifted you by your rear, and you wrapped your legs around his waist almost on instinct. You could already feel his cock pressing against you, begging for attention. You let out a moan, feeding it to him in between desperate kisses.

He carried you to the bed, leaning down to place you there gently and following to hover over you. He never let his lips leave yours while he pulled off his jacket and tossed it aside. His hand slid up, under the shirt you wore and latched onto your waist. You felt him grinding his hips against you, searching for friction in any way he could. His lips trekked from yours down your jaw, and to your neck while you tried to catch your breath.

“Oh, Steven!” You arched your back, pressing your chest against his.

You grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. He disconnected his lips from your skin only long enough for you to strip him before he latched onto your neck again. He groaned hungrily into you as you started working on his pants, undoing the button and zipper. It had felt like too long since you’d had him like this, even if it had only been a couple days. Regardless, every moment you spent away from Steven, you felt empty. Having him with you was the best feeling you could imagine.

“You’re really an eager little thing aren’t you, love?” He was out of breath, voice soft and heavy with arousal in your ear.

“Been wanting you, Steven.” You tried tugging at his pants but you couldn’t get them off. “Help me,” You whined with a chuckle.

Steven inhaled deeply as he got off the bed and took off his pants. You just watched in awe as his beautiful body was exposed to you, illuminated by the dim light of the apartment. His chest was heaving, and you were still surprised at how deceptively fit he was, even after feeling his body several times before.

“What?” He asked, giving you a side-smirk.

You shook your head slowly, “just love the way you look.”

He finished getting his pants and boxer-briefs off before kicking them to the side. He climbed back over you, hovering with his elbows on either side of your head, pressing his lips back to yours firmly. You felt his cock now, sliding on your inner thigh, transferring a trail of precum in its wake.

Steven was feeling anxious. He’d been with you before, several times, feeling your body and touching you, but he’d never had you in his bed before. He wanted to make sure he didn’t make you uncomfortable, or push you to do anything you didn’t want to do. He was just happy to have you there, but you were tempting him with the fire in your eyes, dragging your hands all over his body.

You trailed your fingertips down to his cock, tracing over his balls before caging your fingers around his girth. He had to separate his lips from yours to gasp at the sensations, the friction of you sliding over his cock forcing his body to tremble.

“Steven…” Your voice trembled as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“Yes, love?” His voice sounded rough with desire.

“I think…” you paused to contemplate your next words, not wanting to say it before you were sure.

As though he could hear your thoughts, Steven said, “there’s no pressure, love, we can just go watch a movie or something, I can even take you home if you like.”

His eyes connected with yours, so full of love for you. He wanted nothing more than to feel your cunt wrapped around him, listening to your little moans and whimpers while he filled you, but he didn’t want you to do something you’d regret. He brushed over your cheek with his thumb tenderly.

“I know.” You bit your bottom lip. “I’m ready.”

Steven couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. You trusted him, and that was enough to make his heart thump deafeningly in his ears.

“Are you sure?” He watched your expression, looking for any sense of apprehension.

You smiled and kissed him again in your excitement, “yeah.”

“Alright, aces.”

Steven’s breathing was shaky with nerves, feeling the pressure of being the one person in the world you chose to care for you like this.

He leaned back, “c’mon.” He urged you to sit and helped you remove your shirt.

Your body was trembling in anticipation of what was to come. It was hard to believe that it was happening, that you were finally doing it, but it felt right. Steven was like no one you’d ever met before, and he made you feel like no one ever had before. It was the right person, the right time, and the right place. You couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have this moment with.

“If you change your mind at any point, or want me to stop, just say something, alright?” He was looking right into your eyes, despite the fact that you were wearing nothing now except for your underwear.

You nodded, looking down from his eyes to his lips, just wanting to have them melting into yours again. You closed the gap, relishing in the feeling of your bare chest against his while he lowered you back down to the soft bedding. He wasted no time kissing down your neck, working his way over your collarbone and softly dragging his tongue over one of your nipples. You let out a quiet gasp, arching your back into his mouth.

Steven moaned over your peaked mound, teething your nipple gently, cock throbbing just listening to the sounds you were making. There was still a quiet nagging in the back of his mind, not Marc, not even Jake, but just his own moral compass trying to tell him that you were too naive for him to corrupt you like this. He felt for a split second that he should stop but when he looked up at you, and you looked back at him with those pleading eyes, he knew it would be impossible to say no to you.

He grabbed the waistband of your panties and pulled them down your thighs, balling them up and then tossing them over with all the other discarded clothes. He kissed down your abdomen, leaving a wet one just below your navel, and worked his way down to your already glistening slit.

It sure was a sight, your sweet little cunt, and Steven couldn’t wait to bury himself inside, but he knew he had to at least try to prepare you first. It was going to hurt, no matter how much preparation he did, but he was going to try to make it as good as possible for you. He dragged a finger from the base of your opening upward circling over your clit, biting his lip at the sound of your whines and whimpers.

That little sound he loved so much, the high pitched gasp you always made when he started flicking his tongue over your clit only served to silence his conflicted thoughts. You grabbed Steven’s head, holding on tightly to his curls and enjoying the way his mouth felt, hot and soft against your folds. He slipped a finger inside easily, you were already soaked.

“Gonna try to get a second one in there, alright love? Gotta open you up a little, make it hurt less.” Steven said, never taking his lips off of you.

“Oh…okay.” You grabbed the sheets, bracing yourself for the impending pain and holding your breath.

Steven brought a second finger to your entrance, meeting resistance almost immediately. You were so tight he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get his cock in there when the time came. Slowly, as he pushed through the threshold, he heard you wince and hiss. While he didn’t enjoy causing you pain, he loved feeling your cunt tighten around his fingers. Your walls were soft, like velvet, clenching over his digits violently.

“You alright, darling?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You managed, lips pressed together tightly.

Both of your hands reached out to grip the sheets tightly, letting go of his hair. You really were alright, despite the burn he brought with his thick fingers. You were wet enough that the digits slipped in fairly easily, despite being painful. Your knuckles were starting to ache from how tightly you held on to the sheets.

“Try to relax, just let go, it’ll feel better soon, promise.”

You let out a sharp exhale before letting your body fall limp on the mattress. Though you were still in agony, you knew that keeping your body tense would be counterproductive. Steven hummed in approval before closing his mouth over your clit once more, gently mouthing at it. He slowly started sliding his fingers in and out of you, dragging his fingertips over your walls gently. As your cunt eased into the delicious stretch, it started to feel good, so much better than anything you’d felt him do before.

“There you go, just like that.” He moaned over your clit before flicking his tongue around it some more.

Steven thought you could handle it, so he started pumping his fingers faster, fucking them into you all the way to the base. He could tell that you were starting to enjoy yourself more, based on the way your agonizing whimpers turned into deep moans. He could definitely tell when you started angling your hips to get his fingers into you even deeper.

He had to really focus to not lose himself prematurely. It would’ve been foolish for you to finally agree to trusting him with something so precious only for him to come all over the bedding before even getting the chance to feel you.

There it was, the soft fluttering of your walls, the tightening over his fingers, you were so close. He slurped over your clit, swirling his tongue in tandem with his pursed lips to create an inexplicable sensation over your entire body. Your thighs squeezed his shoulders while you tossed your head back. The delicious glide of his digits was becoming unbearable.

“Steven, ahhh, feels…feels so good.” You groaned, turning your head to the side and biting your lip tightly.

He was more than happy to oblige, but still mindful of how tender your tight hole would be. He was so glad that it was bringing you pleasure despite the initial pain. His fingers moved faster, curling on each plunge, and your breathing shallowed while you approached your climax.

“Just like that, keep moving your tongue like…oh like that!”

There it was, the squeeze that nearly crushed Steven’s fingers inside of you and the cries he worried might wake the neighbors, until he decided he didn’t care what they thought. You were shaking the bed as your body shook and trembled over him. He slowed down as your body relaxed, coming down from the brain-fogging high.

He climbed back over you, meeting his eyes with yours. Your lids were low, and you were looking at him lovingly with a sated gaze which he was so happy to see. He closed his lips over yours, sharing the taste of your juices with his tongue. You moaned, feeling his cock rubbing against you once again, dragging over your thigh with desperation. You felt your cunt spark alive once more, ready to take him, ready to feel him filling you up. You could only hope that it wouldn’t hurt too badly.

“Are you ready? You can still say no, I promise I won’t take it to heart. I’m happy to have whatever you’ll give me, even if it’s just a smile.”

You gave him a reassuring smile, “I can’t think of anything I’d want more than this, Steven.”

Steven nodded eagerly, kissing you again as though he were trying to give you another chance to change your mind. It felt like time was going by too slow and too fast at the same time. He lined himself up with your entrance, spreading the folds over his head and looked at you again.

“S’gonna hurt, love, nothing I can do about that. I’m sorry in advance. The prep should help but…”

“I know, it’s alright,” you cupped his face in your hands and nodded, “go ahead.”

Slowly, but intentionally, Steven started to push into you. At first you thought it would be okay, just the tip was fine, but then…

“Oh my…” You gasped, leaning upward and holding onto his neck for dear life.

You felt the searing pain in your core as he tore through you, eyes shutting instinctively as Steven immediately fell into a flurry of apologies.

“Love, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s just this part that’s the worst, it will get easier.” He held onto your back tightly as he continued thrusting himself to the hilt. You gripped his shoulders with all your might. “Sorry, I’m- Are you-”

“Yes.” You said through clenched teeth, “d-don’t stop, don’t…fuck.”

You were glad he prepped you ahead of time, because you couldn’t imagine what that would’ve felt like had he not done some sort of pre-stretching with his fingers. When he pulled back, you relaxed and let go of him, laying back onto the pillows. Steven smiled at you, pressing a hand to your cheek and brushing away a tear that you didn’t know you had shed. He looked so happy to be sharing this with you.

“Thank you for trusting me with this.” He said softly.

“I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.”

You felt his body tremble with your words. His gaze changed from his smiling expression to a lusty gaze as he slid forward once again, your tight walls gripping him so well. You pressed your lips together in an effort not to show your pain and closed your eyes. He let out a sharp exhale while he churned inward slowly. He was so gentle, but his cock was so big. You weren’t sure when it was going to stop hurting.

“You’re doing great, love,” when you opened your eyes, his met with yours, sparkling and encouraging, “I know it hurts now, but it will start to feel good soon, I promise.”

It was tight, so tight. He’d never felt anything like it before and he was fighting the urge to piston his hips to oblivion. He was being confident for your sake, but he’d never taken someone’s virginity before. He only hoped it would feel good soon, he didn’t like to see you in pain. The sounds you were making though, the whines and whimpers of your agony, he hated to admit that they piqued his arousal, making his body tingle with desire.

Steven had an idea that he hoped might help. He leaned back, looking down between your legs but froze, seeing the streaks of red lining his cock. He’d really done a number splitting you open. The way your tight little pussy looked gripping him was mind numbing to say the least. His mouth fell open as his breathing turned ragged and you noticed.

“W-what?” You asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“I’m so sorry darling, looks like I’ve made you bleed a little.” His throat bobbed when he gulped, but then you heard him groan. He liked seeing that he spread you out like that, “looks quite nice though, sorry to say. Let me see if this helps.”

He took a bit of spit on his fingers and started rubbing his thumb over your clit gently. You were relieved when it did help negate the ache of the stretch even just a little. Steven felt it too, tossing his head back while he started churning his hips again.

“Guess it’s working, yeah? I can feel you making room for me, love.”

You nodded, breathing heavily and trying to push through the pain. It was working though, Steven’s slick movements around your sensitive bundle of nerves. His thrusts were becoming a little faster, and the delicious drag of his cock was hitting just the right spot deep inside of you. It was starting to feel good.

“Feels good…oh shit…feels really good, Steven.”

As if he wasn’t in control of his own body, he started fucking you faster, his arousal was building, and he was getting so close. Your whines turned to moans when he angled your hips to take him harder, and he knew what he was doing was working. Your eyes connected with his, and you bit your bottom lip as you reached your hands up to touch his abdomen. His toned body rippled under the soft flesh of his stomach.

“Is that feeling better love? Feels good f’me,” Steven groaned as he lifted your leg up to get in deeper. “Oh…yeah, s’really good darling.”

“It’s better…so much better I…I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer!”

“Where do you want me to…oh, love I’m so close, where do you-”

He was breathing heavily, struggling to get his sentence out.

“I have a thing, the uhh…” you were close, having a hard time speaking, “just…inside, please fucking come inside me, Steven!”

Your cunt started gushing over his cock in crushing waves, and he couldn’t last any longer. He moaned, heavier and louder than you’d ever heard as he filled you with a warmth you’d never felt before. He was pushing deep into you, far as he could go. While it pulsated, you felt the burn come back, stretching you just a little further. You felt so full.

When he was finished, glistening in sweat and face full of satisfaction, he pulled out of you. The cum burned on your freshly torn hole as it started to dribble out. You winced and tried to reach your hand down to collect what was falling out. Steven just chuckled at your efforts, watching his spend leak out of you.

“Bit late for that love, gonna need to toss these sheets right out after that.” He sighed before going to the bathroom.

You were in a mild state of shock. You couldn’t believe you’d just done that, and with your professor no less. He came back out, bearing a warm towel and some tylenol.

“Lay back, gotta get you cleaned up.”

You winced when he touched the towel to your tender folds. He was gentle, though, softly running the cloth over your skin and it helped soothe the burn.

“You’ve got to try and push it all out, then you should use the bathroom. That’s what I’ve been told.” He smirked a little, feeling a bit embarrassed trying to tell you how to care for your own body.

In truth though, you appreciated any knowledge he could give you. You didn’t know anything about this stuff, not having planned on tonight, but he seemed to know a lot. The thought struck you with a little jealousy. How many women had Steven been with before you to know all of this?

“So, you’ve done this a lot?” You said before you squeezed your abdomen, trying to get his cum out of you. You felt it dribble out.

He shook his head and let out a heavy sigh, “no, not a lot, just a couple times.”

He felt a little guilty for getting some enjoyment out of your jealousy. Who was he? An alter for a mentally ill man, playing professor at your college, far too old for you with looks that paled in comparison to yours. He was lucky to even be around you, at least that’s how he felt. To think that someone like you harbored any jealousy for him at all blew his mind.

“Wish I’d waited for you though, for what it’s worth.” He tapped your nose with his index finger before leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m glad I waited for you, Steven.”

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perseusannabeth · 1 year ago

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Chapter 8 - Cassian

A/N: Hi guys, long time no see!

I just want to thank everyone for all the lovely comments you left me during this really long break I took. I really appreciated them, even though I didn't respond. You guys were the reason I carried on writing.

After I posted the last chapter, my grandad got really ill, and he passed away at the beginning of this year, so I've been super absent because as you can imagine, taking care of my grandad, and then dealing with his sickness and then death took it out of me. I'm doing a lot better now though, but writing isn't coming to me as easily as it was before.

I felt like since I finally finished writing and editing this chapter, everyone deserved it, but I have no idea when the next chapter will be. I promise I'm still writing this fic, I'm just taking a long time to write the chapters.

With that being said, please remember that this fic is angsty. There are no trigger warnings I can think of for this chapter, but if people think of any that need to be added, please let me know!

Word count: 7282

LMBYH Masterlist | My Masterlist | My Ask Box | Read on AO3

Cassian had never been the kind of man to live in excess. He enjoyed his wine and whiskey as much as the next person, but he rarely got drunk. Frankly, he found the effects on his health the morning after far too much for a man of his age. This night, however, was making Cassian wish he could work his way up to a drunken stupor because the after-effects of that would be more enjoyable than this night.

It hadn’t all been bad though. He had felt fairly good at the beginning of the ball and eventually had felt a level of joy he hadn’t known was possible when he had danced with his wife. The dance had given him hope that perhaps they could grow to have a more ‘normal’ relationship as husband and wife one day. One where they could grow to care for one another, and where they could depend on each other. They could become a husband and wife partnership that his parents had never had. Cassian had felt the chemistry with his wife, and he had wanted more. But hope was for fools, and he was the biggest fool of them all.

Nesta had seemed to be enjoying herself, talking to old Devlon. He hadn’t even known they were friends, but that made Kallon’s outburst at their wedding even worse. Then she was sat by her sister, and Feyre seemed so happy to spend time with Nesta. He somehow managed to lose sight of his wife, he thought she was safe with Feyre. He didn’t want to make it seem like he was following her, he had stayed close by if she needed him. He didn’t want to smother her.

It had come as a shock to him when Adelaide told him his wife was not feeling well, and he looked around to notice she wasn’t in the main hall like he thought. When he had tried to find Nesta, he had managed to get cornered by Ianthe, which he should’ve known would happen. Then of course, he was careless and Nesta saw them together, and as he tried to chase his wife and explain what she had seen, only for her to bump into Philp Mandray of all people. It was like a nightmare, only worse because Cassian knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was real. He wished he knew what he had done to deserve this.

The events of the night felt like they were catching up with him, and his head certainly felt like it was spinning. He wished he could just go to sleep and forget any of this had happened, but he couldn’t. Cassian wasn’t sure how long he stood there, looking at Philip and Nesta before he managed to shake himself out of his daze. Seeing Philip was a shock to the system. He knew that Philip would not be welcome at Helion’s house. Helion had his own issues with Philip Mandray way before the issue of Cassian marrying Nesta had happened.

“Nesta, are you alright?” Cassian asked loudly, reminding both Philip and Nesta of his presence. Nesta flinched at the sound of his voice. Cassian felt like a knife had pierced his chest at the sight of his wife, practically in another man’s arms, flinching at the sound of his voice hurt him more than he cared to admit.

“She’s fine, she’s always been very clumsy,” Philip responded, his voice grating on Cassian’s nerves as he spoke, a smirk on his face. Cassian’s hands were balled up, wishing he could throw a punch, but he couldn’t let his anger get the better of him like it did at his wedding. He needed to make sure Nesta was okay.

“I wasn’t aware that you had changed your name Mandray. Last time I checked, Nesta was my wife’s name. Care to explain why you decided to respond on her behalf?”

Philip’s face was instantly flooded with red, a mixture of anger and embarrassment, which brought Cassian great joy. Cassian hadn’t given a shit about Philip Mandray before, not until he had stopped Cassian from meeting Nesta before their wedding. Still, Cassian couldn’t bring himself to feel even the smallest ounce of guilt when it came to embarrassing Philip.

“Nesta, sweetheart, are you okay?” Cassian asked softly as he stepped forward. He slowly walked towards his wife, putting himself between her and Philip.

It seemed like that had been the right move, because Cassian coming into her line of sight seemed to snap her out of the state of shock she had gone into, and she didn’t flinch at the sound of his voice when she was looking at him. Cassian started to move his hand slowly to help her up, not wanting any sudden movements to startle his already terrified wife, but she didn’t even wait for his hand to become fully outstretched before she grabbed his arm so tightly Cassian wondered if she would leave marks. His wife was delicate and didn’t look like she would have the strength to do so, but she might prove him wrong.

She gripped him like she was afraid to let go, so Cassian brought her close by his side. Although he and his wife were not ones for public displays of affection, or any affection, Cassian felt that with Philip around, a united front was needed.

“I wasn’t aware that you were invited to Helion’s party Mr Mandray,” Cassian said, in the hope of reminding the man that he was risking making a huge scene if the hosts discovered he was here uninvited. A man like Philip put a lot of thought into his appearance, and sometimes needed reminding that he was not as untouchable as he thought.

“I was not, but I’m sure that I could’ve gotten an invite if I wanted. Anything can be bought for a price, after all,” Philip said, responding to Cassian but not taking his eyes off Nesta, who had buried her face in his chest. Cassian was trying not to focus on the fact this was the most physical contact they’d had since the wedding night.

“Well, an invitation to this party cannot be bought. I suggest you leave before you end up embarrassing yourself by having to be removed forcibly. I’m sure the guests would enjoy the entertainment though, if you feel like putting on a show,” Cassian said, smirking at him.

“There’s no need for the threats. That’s not the kind of behaviour I would expect from a Duke,” Philip said, tutting and shaking his head in fake disappointment.

“Ah yes but you forget, I’m not just simply a Duke. I was also in Her Majesty’s army. This is a tame reaction for a soldier,” Cassian said sternly. He didn’t remind people of his history very often, but Philip Mandray needed to be reminded that he was a threat.

Unfortunately for Cassian, it seemed that Philip didn’t give a shit. “What good is a soldier who has no experience in a war? We have been at peace for so long that your title is just for show.”

“I don’t need to justify my service to the likes of you. The Queen is aware of what I did for my country,” Cassian said, wishing he was able to say more.

Thankfully, Nesta tightened her grip on Cassian’s arm, reminding him she was in desperate need to get out of there. Although they hadn’t spoken about him very much, Cassian was very aware of how terrified she was of Phillip. He simply decided to ignore Philip’s existence (as much as it pained him) and focus on his clearly terrified wife.

“Do you remember what I said before we came? About how if you want to go home, you just need to say the word?” He asked quietly, so only Nesta could hear. Philip watched them with great curiosity, but Cassian ignored him.

Nesta had been shaking in his arms before, but now she was still. Cassian knew she remembered what he had said, but she didn’t say a word. He didn’t know why he was forcing Nesta to tell him she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but he felt like it was important for her to say this.

He waited for a response, before deciding that perhaps it was best to ease her into these things. He knew she wouldn't have been allowed to voice her opinion while married to Tomas.

“Nesta, I need an answer. Do you want to go home?”

Nesta was so still in his arms that he wasn’t sure she had heard him. He was about to repeat himself when she nodded, her face still buried in his chest, but it was enough of a step for Cassian. He knew that telling him she wanted to go home had not been easy for her.

He didn’t bother glancing at Philip, who was glaring at him with such hatred that Cassian wished he could punch him. It seemed unfair that he had punched Kallon at the wedding, but had never once laid hands on Philip, despite him being far worse in some respects.

Still, he had someone else to think about now. He couldn’t let his emotions rule him, not when he had Nesta to worry about. He led Nesta into Helion’s study, knowing the guards would be standing around. As lax as Helion could be, he would never give someone the opportunity to slip into his study when nobody was paying attention. He’d learnt the hard way that he always had to be prepared.

Thankfully, the guards knew Cassian well enough to allow him into the study. He guided Nesta onto one of the many armchairs placed around the room, before going to the guard at the door, asking him to find someone to bring his carriage around to the side entrance. With the state Nesta was in, he didn’t want the partygoers to talk about her more than they already were.

A servant was called and asked to relay a message to Helion and Adelaide that the two of them would be leaving now. They would pass the message on to Nesta’s sisters and the rest of their friends so nobody would worry. He would have to explain what happened later on, once he had made sure Nesta was okay. He knew he had some explaining to do to his wife first, but seeing Philip had clearly scared her. He needed to make sure she was okay before talking to her about anything else that had happened during the evening. He didn’t want to add to her stress and worsen her condition, because she looked incredibly unwell right now.

Cassian was tempted to send a rider to go get the doctor so that they would arrive home at the same time as the doctor and he would be able to check Nesta over. Thankfully, the rational part of Cassian’s mind reminded him that his wife wasn’t even comfortable around him, so there was no way she would remain calm when a doctor tried to do an examination.

Since she had been seated in the armchair, Nesta had gone still. Before, when she had been in his arms, she had been shaking uncontrollably; whether this was due to her fear or shock, Cassian was unsure. Now, she was not reacting to anything. He had called her name a few times, moving in front of her hoping to snap her out of her trance, but there was nothing, not even a trace of recognition. He didn’t want to risk touching her in case she reacted badly. She seemed to shy away from him at the best of times.

Thankfully, the carriage pulled around the French doors, probably ruining Helion’s perfectly manicured lawn, but Cassian didn’t give a shit if he was perfectly honest. He knew that Helion and Adelaide wouldn’t care either.

“Nesta, the carriage is here. Let’s get you home now,” Cassian said gently as he kneeled down in front of her, slowly putting his hand on Nesta’s. Thankfully, that seemed to be enough to bring Nesta back into the present, although she seemed disorientated.

Cassian guided her into the carriage by her hand, similar to how you would take a child by the hand to guide them. Cassian joined her in the carriage, trying to give her as much space as possible in a carriage.

Not knowing what to say, Cassian decided to stay silent. His silence allowed him to get lost in his own thoughts, which mostly consisted of him thinking how nice the calm before the storm had been. His mind kept going back to how beautiful Nesta had looked while dancing in his arms. He had never seen his wife radiate such joy, and he wished he could go back to that. Instead, it had all gone to hell as soon as she left his arms, or so it felt like. There had been chaos after, and Cassian couldn’t understand what happened. Only, that was a lie. He hadn’t been careful. He had let his guard down in his joy of being out with his wife.

He was pulled out of his melancholy thoughts by the sound of Nesta gasping for breath. It seemed like she had come out of the trance, and now the panic in her eyes told Cassian she was hyperventilating.

“Nesta, it’s okay, you’re safe. Please, just breathe,” Cassian said, scrambling closer to her. His movements made her flinch away from him, so he stilled and sat as still as he possibly could in a moving carriage.

His words were no help to her, Nesta’s mind was already riddled with panic, and her breathing was getting shallower and louder. Cassian knew she needed fresh air, but stopping their carriages on the mostly deserted roads was not safe either, so he made a decision, which was most definitely a stupid decision.

He moved to the door of the carriage while he shucked off his overcoat, wrapping it around his hand clumsily, and then punched the glass. It shattered instantly, causing Nesta’s strangled-sounding breaths to stop. He ignored the pain in his hand and cleaned all the glass near Nesta so she wouldn’t get hurt.

Once her path to the broken window was as safe as he could make it, he moved back to the other side of the carriage. “You needed fresh air to help make you feel better. Please mind the glass,” Cassian said, nodding at the window.

She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again after no words came out. She took some time, but eventually, she moved towards the broken window and closed her eyes. The gentle breeze moved the strands of hair that had come out of her coronet, and Cassian could almost fool himself into pretending she looked calm.

For the rest of the carriage ride, Nesta closed her eyes and focused on her breathing while Cassian watched her cautiously from the other side of the carriage. She didn’t seem to be calming down, not that he could tell anyway, but she was certainly getting control of herself again. Cassian wished he knew what that meant though. Was it calming enough? Did that mean she felt better, or just better enough to hide her emotions from Cassian? He assumed it was the latter, but it didn’t stop him from wishing he knew his wife better. How could they live together if they didn’t know each other? Every time he tried opening up to her, he was met with a cold hard wall. He knew she didn’t want to share things about her previous marriage, and he assumed none of it could be good, but he knew nothing.

A normal married couple would know things like each other’s likes and dislikes, and what made them happy or sad. A normal husband would know how to comfort his wife when she was in the state Nesta was in. But Cassian was no normal husband. How could he be, when Nesta was no normal wife? He didn’t need a normal relationship, and he had known that their marriage would be normal, but he didn’t imagine feeling so helpless. He had assumed that taking Nesta away from the Mandray house would free her. He didn’t realise the impact the years had on her until he started living with her.

When the carriage stopped outside of their house, Cassian felt relief. He knew that, here at least, Nesta was safe and comfortable. He had control of the environment, the situation and the people now, so he might be able to be more useful to Nesta. At the very least, he could do things to distract himself from the helplessness while his wife fought the demons in her mind.

He jumped out of the carriage, holding the door open for Nesta so she didn’t touch the broken glass. She stepped out gingerly, looking so weak that Cassian fought the urge not to scoop her up in his arms and carry her to bed.

Hill was waiting at the door, watching pensively as they came in. She knew Cassian well enough to know when something was wrong, and nobody could look at Nesta and assume she was okay.

“What do you need me to do?” Hill asked, ready to jump into action as per usual.

“I need some tea if you don’t mind,” Cassian said. Hill didn’t say anything, just rushing off towards the kitchen.

He guided Nesta to their bedroom, trying his best not to come too close to her. She seemed to be walking in a trance, the part of her brain that knew her routine just took over as she walked to their rooms. Nesta walked in and took a step towards the dressing room before Cassian gently told her to sit down.

She froze, and Cassian was sure that she had forgotten he was even there. “If you would just take a seat for a few moments, Hill will be here soon. I would feel much better if you drank some tea to calm your nerves before attempting to sleep.”

He knew saying he wanted Nesta to drink the tea was a low blow, she would see it as a direct order from him, but right now he didn’t care. If she was only willing to sit and drink the damned tea because he told her to, he would order her gladly. He needed to do something, anything to make himself feel better.

Nesta sat down, as he requested, on his mother’s armchair, which pleased Cassian, and he couldn’t quite say why. Either way, seeing his wife sitting in his mother’s favourite chair was a nice feeling. It calmed his nerves ever so slightly.

“Your hand,” Nesta murmured, as Cassian sat down on one of the other chairs.

“Pardon?” Cassian asked. She had spoken so quietly that he wasn’t sure he had heard her properly.

“Your hand, you hurt it,” Nesta said, looking at his injury.

Cassian followed her gaze to his hand, and to his surprise, it was bleeding. It looked rather gruesome, and as though it should hurt, and yet Cassian hadn’t even noticed it. He had assumed his clumsily wrapped overcoat would do the job, but in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about it very much. He had been far too distracted to realise he had hurt himself, and Nesta was clearly confused about how he didn’t notice it himself.

“It isn’t bothering me, my lady, there’s no need to worry,” Cassian said, trying to soothe her worries while covering his hand with his other hand.

Nesta’s frown deepened. She leaned closer toward him and gently pulled his bleeding hand closer to her for inspection. Cassian went still, holding his breath so that any movement didn’t stop his wife from voluntarily holding his hand. Of course, the circumstances weren’t great, but she had willingly held his hand! He certainly wasn’t feeling any pain now that his wife was holding his hand in hers so gently.

As a man, society dictated that Cassian didn’t need people to be gentle with him. It wasn’t something that had ever bothered him, he had simply accepted it was how life was and moved on. Nesta held his hand gently while she inspected it was the first time someone had been this soft since his mother had died. He hadn’t even realised he missed it. He had assumed when he thought about his mother and it hurt, he was missing her. He didn’t realise he was also missing the kind of love and affection that a man only ever receives from his mother.

It was strange how such a simple act of the slightest affection could make him feel that way. But it was also strange that Nesta seemed to find his injury grounding. When Hill walked into their rooms, he thought she would startle since she was very engrossed with his hand. Instead, Nesta looked up when she noticed Hill put the tea down next to her, and then listed the supplies for the things she needed.

Hill looked as surprised as he felt, but she quickly gathered all the supplies. “Do you need any help with anything? I can clean Cassian’s hand while you… Drink your tea,” Hill said, looking at Nesta with her eyebrows raised.

Nesta didn’t respond; she instead went still. “It’s quite alright, Hill. I think my wife can handle it. You can retire for the night now. We’ve taken up enough of your time,” Cassian said with a smile. He gave Hill a meaningful stare, wanting her to get out. If his wife was comfortable dealing with his bloodied hand, then he certainly would not pass the opportunity up.

Hill left with a small shake of her head, likely knowing exactly what Cassian was thinking. Then again, Hill most likely thought there would be more going on tonight than just Nesta dealing with his injury.

Nesta worked in silence, but it was clear from her actions that she was an expert at cleaning wounds. She picked out the glass pieces and put them into a cloth. Thankfully, There were only two fairly small glass pieces and they had not dug into anything important. It seemed that most of the damage had been done when he had punched the glass window, which was to be expected with his poorly wrapped hand. Perhaps he should not have moved quite so hastily, but he was far too worried about Nesta to care.

Once Nesta was sure his hand was clear of glass, she dipped another cloth into the bowl of water that Hill had provided, and gently cleaned his hand. Once the hand was clean and Nesta could inspect the wounds properly, she assessed that the cuts were not bad enough to warrant stitches. Cassian was glad to hear that news because although he was able to grit his teeth through the pain, he shuddered at the sight of a needle ready to sew his skin together. He could stomach it, but barely, and would rather drink some poppy syrup. He didn’t really want his wife to see him in that kind of state.

Nesta wrapped his hand gently, smoothing down the bandages as though she was caressing his hand. He wished he could feel her caress on his skin. His longing was interrupted by Nesta.

“You’ll need to keep it clean and change the bandage too. I do feel that we should perhaps get it checked over just in case the cut is deeper than it seems, or worse still if any glass remains.” Nesta said, looking at him with concern.

“I think perhaps it is too late to call on the doctor without it being an emergency, but I promise that I will get it checked tomorrow.”

Nesta nodded and then moved away from him to sit back in her chair properly. She slumped down, as though the toll of the day was physically weighing her down. They sat there in silence for a while, Nesta staring into the distance, Cassian watching her subtly.

Eventually, Nesta stood up. “It’s late, and I think I’ll get ready for bed, if that’s alright with you, your Grace?”

Cassian ignored the way she still asked for his permission. He didn’t have the energy to fight that particular battle right now, not after the night they’d had. He simply nodded and watched as she quickly scurried away into her dressing rooms.

\\\///

Cassian had hoped that his fitful night’s sleep would fix everything, but he had known deep down that he was being foolish. When he woke the next morning and looked at his wife’s tired face, he knew that the previous night’s events had taken its toll on both of them more than he had hoped. He felt like he was fumbling and had no idea how he could fix this mess.

Nesta seemed intent on carrying on with her day as though everything was normal. She went to her refuge, the library, even though she looked ready to drop. She asked for her breakfast to be taken to the library. Claude was thrilled, saying that it was a sign that she was feeling more comfortable making more demands. Cassian wasn’t so sure but didn’t want to say anything to make things worse. Plus, if he made Claude sad, the whole household would feel the effects of a sad Claude, and that was truly something to fear.

Cassian worried about his wife. Her resilience was something he admired greatly, but he wished she didn’t need to be this way. He wished he knew how to talk to and comfort her, especially after seeing the fear in her eyes when she was with Philip. He didn’t want to be a traditional, stern husband who barely spoke to his wife. He wanted his wife to rely on him, to be able to talk to him and tell him how she feels and what she thinks.

Nesta seemed perpetually terrified of everything, and he sometimes felt like she was probably afraid of her own shadow. The way she had looked at Philip was different though. Something had happened to make her scared of him. The problem was Nesta was not likely to confide in Cassian about these things, and unless she did so, he couldn’t reassure her that nothing like that happened to her again. But for her to believe that she would have to trust him, and Cassian knew she didn’t. He didn’t blame her, but it hurt a little.

Cassian tried his best to leave Nesta to her own devices, but it was no use. His mind was constantly occupied by worries for her, wondering if she was okay, and a week after the party he was close to his breaking point. He had to ask Jacob to repeat himself on multiple occasions, but Cassian was just thankful that Jacob hadn’t commented on his lack of focus.

When Jacob had suggested that perhaps the problem with the tenants could wait until tomorrow, Cassian had felt grateful that he was being given an out. It was too soon after the chaos of yesterday for him to be able to carry on as normal. His tenants would survive one day without him.

Cassian didn’t instantly want to go running to the library to see what Nesta was doing, worried that she would find him smothering. It was difficult for him because all Cassian wanted to do was check on his wife, spend time with her and get to know her. The fear of alienating his wife was the only thing that made him go see Claude in the kitchens instead.

“Cassian, what are you doing here? Surely you know better than to come into Claude’s territory unannounced!” Matthew said.

Cassian smiled at the young man, who, braver than most in his household, had volunteered when Claude had needed an assistant in the kitchens. Even Hill had shuddered at the thought of working in the kitchens with Claude.

Matthew was either very brave or very stupid, and Cassian truly could not tell which one it was. He had volunteered to work with Claude, which was a first. Even Claude had been shocked since the cook was nothing if not self-aware of his tyranny in the kitchen.

“I promise not to touch anything. I was just wanting some company,” Cassian said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Now it was Matthew’s turn to laugh. “And I suppose you seeking Claude out has nothing to do with how he sits with your wife. Your wife is quiet, but Claude manages to bring out the chatty side of her.”

Cassian had no clever response for that. He knew he had been caught. He smiled bashfully, and just shrugged, looking for Claude so he could talk to him. Matthew, knowing how these things work by now, simply informed him that Claude was outside and left them to it.

Cassian walked outside to see Claude in his garden patch. Claude was a big believer that if you could do it yourself, you should, and so he grew many fruits and vegetables himself. It was yet another reason why Claude was one of the best chefs in Velaris.

“Let me guess, you need my help to woo your wife,” Claude said, not looking up from his thorough inspection of his carrots.

Cassian spluttered, trying to come up with a way to sound less pathetic, but there was no way to achieve that. In the end, he gave up, took a deep breath and said, “I think I messed up.”

That made Claude look up in an instant, and a heart-stopping glare came his way. “What on earth have you done now? I should’ve known not to trust you with her alone. You’re such a brute. You have no idea how to treat a real lady,” Claude huffed in annoyance.

“Honestly Claude, if you can tell me what I did and tell you how to fix it, I’ll owe you forever,” Cassian said, running his hands through his hair. That made Claude pause. He knew Cassian well enough to know when things were serious.

“Tell me everything that happened.”

“It was all going really well, we danced, and she was smiling so much. I’ve not seen her that happy before. I could finally see some real emotions from her, not the ones she wears as a mask.” he sighed, thinking back to how radiant Nesta had seemed in the ballroom. It had been a moment where Cassian believed they could be happy together. They would work through whatever demons Nesta was fighting, and they would be able to be happy.

“It’s probably my fault things went wrong. I was talking to the others, and Nesta got up. I don’t know where she went or who she spoke to. You know how mercenary those women can be. I should’ve prepared her better. We all should’ve. But then Adelaide told me Nesta was in distress and she needed me. I went to the room I thought she was in and Ianthe told me-”

“Ianthe? What did that snake want?” Claude spat. Ianthe was not popular with his friends and family, especially considering how she had tried to integrate herself into their group. Cassian decided it would be best to keep the details of their interaction to a bare minimum, or his life might end up in danger.

“The usual, but that’s not the worst of it Claude. Nesta ran into Philip Mandray,” Cassian revealed.

“Fuck!” Claude exclaimed.

“My thoughts exactly. I have no idea what he said to her, Claude. They couldn't have been alone for more than two minutes before I got there, but it was enough for him to say something that troubled her. The colour had all drained away from her face, and I was worried she was about to faint. She looked so unwell.”

“Did you talk to her about it?”

“At the time I was too focused on getting her home, it had all clearly been too overwhelming for her and then seeing Philip was just too much for her.”

“And what about since then? The next day did you try?”

“Claude, I know you don’t believe me when I say this, but I swear, I’m not actually an idiot. I’ve tried to broach the subject so many times, but she either leaves the room or changes the subject. Last night she even pretended to have fallen asleep, even though I could see her peeking to see if I had gone to sleep! I don’t know what else I can do.”

Claude’s angry expression melted away to sadness. “I’m not sure what I can suggest either, Cassian. I know she talks to me, but that doesn’t mean she’s open with me. In fact, she’s only ever talkative when asking me questions about my cooking. If I try to bring up other subjects she’s the same as when she talks to anyone else.”

“I don’t know what to do, Claude. At this point, I don’t even need her to open up to me. If she’s happier with me not knowing, that’s fine, but the problem is, Nesta won’t talk to anyone about what happened to her while married to Tomas. She won’t open up to her sisters, and she doesn’t seem to have any friends. It’s not healthy! The only thing that’s keeping me sane is that she seems to be happy in the library. I try to stay out of there as much as I can because it now feels like I’m encroaching on her safe space, but I worry about her being alone all the time.”

The two let the silence stretch on them until Matthew came out. “My goddess, it's miserable out here. What happened, did you two argue again?”

“No, we’re just worried about Nesta,” Claude said.

“Why?”

“She doesn’t talk to anyone and we’re worried that bottling things up is making her ill,” Claude explained.

“Well, has anyone else talked to her about their own struggles?” Matthew asked.

“What do you mean?” Cassian asked with a frown.

“Well, we all know what the Mandray house is rumoured to be like, so I understand your concern. The duchess does not act in a way that could be considered normal, but I’m sure she’s aware of that herself. Everyone who tries to get her to open up is doing so out of concern, but they don’t understand her. I don’t want to step out of line here, but is there anyone who she could relate to? Someone who’s been in a similar situation so she can see she’s not alone?” Matthew spoke as Claude and Cassian looked at each other with wide eyes.

“Why, Matthew, you’re a genius!” Claude leapt up and hugged the man, startling Matthew. “Of course, she isn’t going to feel comfortable talking to us!”

“You’re right, but who could she possibly feel comfortable with?” Cassian asked, unwilling to let himself get excited about something when he had no idea how to carry out the admittedly good idea.

At that moment, a boy called out for Cassian, and it was like he had been sent from someone up above as an answer to their question.

“I’m really sorry, Mr Duke sir, but me and my sister were playin’ out by the front with a ball, and I think we broke a window, sir. It was my fault, sir, I’m terribly sorry,” the boy said, trembling in front of him, but making eye contact nevertheless. Cassian would guess the boy was no older than 6 or 7 years old.

Claude let out a chuckle, startling the boy. “No need to worry about Cassian when it comes to broken windows Arthur. Cassian has probably broken every window in this place at some point or another.”

The boy, Arthur, looked from Claude to Cassian cautiously. “Why don’t you take me to where you were playing and show me what happened?” Cassian asked, gesturing to the boy to lead the way. It looked like that was the last thing he wanted to do, but clearly, Arthur felt like he had no choice.

“Of course, sir,” he said, resigned to his fate clearly.

“So, your mother is Eleanor, correct?” Cassian questioned, having finally been able to place the boy.

“Yes, sir, I’m the eldest. I have a little sister, Jane. She’s the one I was playing with, but it was all my fault, sir,” the boy sounded panicked, clearly worried his sister would get into trouble.

“It’s quite alright, Arthur. I know it’s hard to believe this, but I truly was a scoundrel when I was young. My mother used to despair when I played with my friends. Accidents happen, I’m just glad nobody was hurt.” The boy remained quiet, so Cassian attempted to change the subject. “Do you like living here?” He asked, not sure what other types of small talk he could make.

“Yes sir, I’m ever so grateful you took us in and allowed my mother to work for you. I ask you not to punish my mother or sister for something I did. I’ll take any punishment you give, sir.”

At that, Cassian frowned. “I won’t punish you, your mother or your sister for this, Arthur. It was an accident, and I believe you.” Cassian stopped in the middle of the path leading them to the front of the house. They were almost there, but Cassian felt he needed to clear things up with the boy. “I will never raise my hand against any of you. If anyone ever dares to do so, then you come to me or Jacob. Even if you have to disturb us, it is our duty to make sure people are safe.”

“I’m the man of the house. My job is to look after my mother and sister,” Arthur said, puffing his chest out to show Cassian importance.

“That’s a very big responsibility for someone so small, but I have no doubt in my mind that you do the job well,” Cassian said with a smile.

The boy’s shoulders slumped at that. “I only look small. I’m actually 10 years old!” The boy said frustratedly.

Cassian was shocked at that. The boy didn’t look big enough for 10. He was all skin and bones, but Cassian remembered how Eleanor had looked when she had first arrived here. The look of hunger was not something that went away easily. Eleanor had admitted to Cassian that she had run away from her husband, and she was worried about him finding them and wanting retribution, but she had never gone into any further detail. Cassian hadn’t needed details from her when he had seen how hungry she looked. In all honesty, the marks she bore were enough for him to know that Eleanor needed his help. The fact that she had come to enquire about a job in the stables despite not knowing anything about horses was also a testament to how desperate she was for money.

It had been lucky that Cassian had been thinking about the way he probably needed a lady’s maid, as he had recently agreed to marry Nesta. He knew Eleanor would be perfect for the role, so he took her and her children in with no questions.

He had seen the children around, and they seemed happy, but he didn’t realise how much the children had suffered at their father’s hand. It shocked him that a man could treat his own flesh and blood so poorly, but then again, if a man hit his wife, what morals could he claim to have?

“I know you are a brave young man, Arthur, and I’m sure you protect your mother and sister very well. Sometimes being young can help in these matters,” Cassian told the boy, who was frowning, studying Cassian.

“How?”

“Well, someone like my wife might feel more at ease around you compared to a grown man,” Cassian said, probing to see if the boy would take the bait.

“Your wife?” The boy asked curiously. “Is that the lady who is in the library?”

“Yes! You see, I wish there was a young man like you to keep an eye on her. That way, I’d know she’s safe without making her feel uncomfortable.” Cassian hesitated, wondering how much he should tell the boy. “You see, the man she was married to before was not very nice, and neither was his older brother. He was like your father, actually.”

At the mention of his father, Arthur looked angry. “I’ll make sure she’s safe from them all!” He declared angrily.

Cassan ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately. “I think she would appreciate some company in the library, especially with all those big heavy books. Perhaps when you have some spare time, you can help her?”

“Yes, of course!”

There was some commotion in the distance, reminding both of them of the broken window situation. “Oh, we’d best hurry to that window!”

They both rushed off and saw a little girl who Cassian assumed was Arthur’s sister Jane. Eleanor and Jacob had also turned up and were trying to comfort the little girl who was beside herself. The commotion had clearly attracted Nesta’s attention, as she hovered at the end of the path to her library, but she came no closer. She instead watched Cassian, probably to see what he would do. Cassian looked up at the window to see Hill already cleaning up the glass that had fallen inside.

“Is that all?” Cassian asked as he looked at the damage.

“Yes sir,” Arthur replied.

Cassian let out a laugh. “I had assumed it would be so much worse. That is only a small crack. I was assuming I would have to replace the whole window and the pane, the way you described it to me.”

“I can arrange for it to be fixed by tomorrow, Cassian, but in the meanwhile, Hill said she’d board up the hole. Is that alright?” Jacob asked. Cassian nodded.

“See, Janie, I told you there was nothing to worry about,” Arthur said, acting like he hadn’t been scared out of his mind to tell Cassian. Cassian decided to let the boy have this victory, though, as it stopped the little girl from crying.

As Arthur went over to comfort his sister, Eleanor came over to Cassian. “My lord, I can’t thank you enough. I will work unpaid until you have covered the costs of your window replacement,” she said in her quiet, gentle voice.

“Eleanor, I’m not going to do that. But you don’t have to worry about it anyway. Arthur has taken care of it all.” Eleanor looked at him curiously but said nothing, so Cassian elaborated. “He’s going to spend some time with Nesta, keep an eye on her, and keep her company. I’m worried about her, but your son has a good head on his shoulders, and I trust him.”

“Thank you, my lord,” Eleanor said, smiling as she watched her children talking animatedly to Jacob, trying to explain how the window broke. Jacob was in good humour and went along with their dramatics.

Cassian was well aware of his wife watching them from a distance, but he felt no need to try and rope her into this conversation. He was content that, finally, he might be able to bring her out of whatever she was going through. Watching the children, so innocent and full of joy, gave him hope. Their resilience reminded him that people could always come back from sadness, but sometimes they needed a little help.

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